Jack and Joe

By Biltong

* I had no idea how many people wanted me to write more stories on Father Joe until CiGiK put all the letters into the relevant pages.

Please remember, Father Joe belongs to Badgergator, and I only borrow him on occasion. Like his brother, I wish I could keep him, but alas, that is not meant to be...

....................................................................................................................................

"Ah, P38 yaddah yaddah yaddah. Cool."

Jack O'Neill took in a large icy breath, staring at the surrounding countryside with a pleased expression on his face.

"The official designation is P38 9H7, and I agree," Daniel said deliberately misunderstanding him. "Icy, more like it."

He turned to face his friend, taking in Jack's expression with a frown. " I also have no idea why you are looking so pleased with yourself."

"Why wouldn't I be pleased with myself?" Jack asked, genuinely surprised. "This is the first mission I have been on since the land of those super savages on N97 whatever. You remember, those blue painted people who tried to see how many holes they could inflict to my poor defenseless person without killing me."

"Nine," Teal'c said, shouldering his backpack. "You still breathed, barely, after nine spear thrusts."

"I still think it was a really stupid thing to have done sir," Carter said, returning from sending the MALP back to the SGC.

Jack grinned easily. "The arrogant bastard had to go, and I was the one to do it. As it was, they had a large supply of trinium, trinium that we can now trade for."

"Still," Daniel said, "You almost died. Hell, I know that General Hammond was in two minds as to whether to send for Joe or not. Had you not rallied like you did, he would have had no choice."

"I have no need for my brother to give me last rights," Jack muttered. "Besides, he's done that once before in my life already." His smile returned, albeit weakly. "I think that if you do it again, it negates the first time."

That piqued Daniel's interest.

"When? When before did he give you last rites?"

Jack gave him an inscrutable look.

"A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away," he said, aware of Teal'c looking at him approvingly.

"I am impressed O'Neill," he said. "I had no idea that my choice of classic intellectual entertainment would affect you as deeply it has apparently done so."

Daniel and Sam watched amused as O'Neill valiantly swallowed the sarcastic retort he was about to make. This was, after all, Teal'c.

Who knew if he was serious or not?

"Move out kids," Jack said eventually, sighing deeply. "I'll take point, Teal'c you take our six."

...

"This reminds me of Wales," Daniel said ten minutes later. "Hills and vales, as far as the eye can see."

"Great," Jack moaned, staring up at yet another green hill that that blocked his progress. "Wales in winter." He gave the linguist a dirty look. "If we're really lucky, it'll snow, just to compound my misery."

Teal'c shook his head. "It is not cold enough, O'Neill", he said garnering himself his own dirty look.

"Besides, I thought you wanted the exercise," Daniel said with a smirk. "After a month in the infirmary...." He allowed his voice to trail off.

"I was ready for fishing," Jack lamented.

"Fishing? Other people do something constructive with their lives," Daniel said, sighing with relief when he reached the top of the especially steep hill.

"Geez, I'm glad you make us work out like you do," he moaned.

"Yep, exercise and fishing," the twin loves of my life," Jack said happily.

"I was meant to believe that ice hockey was the love of your life," a mystified Teal'c asked. "Was I mistaken?"

"Not at all Teal'c," Jack said, walking effortlessly backwards up the next hill and smiling down at the Jaffa. "Ice Hockey is categorized as a sport, which means it is a form of exercise."

Teal'c inclined his head in understanding.

Jack grinned and spun on his heel just before the apex, feeling happier than he had in ages.

This planet had a crisp green spaciousness that he appreciated, and seemed to all intents and purposes to be Goa'uld free, something he really treasured after the last mission.

Not that he would ever admit it, but that last mission had been hell, and had almost but not quite killed him.

On N97 whatever, the local population had been trained by Sokar to be as ruthless as possible, and had been abandoned when he died. When SG1 had arrived through the stargate, they had believed their god had sent them, and consequently had not been happy when told otherwise.

They had objected violently to SG1's overtures of peace, despite having no infrastructure on the planet to sustain them and being half starved. They were hard people, used to harsh words, and finally, when he realized what was needed for them to understand, Jack had been only too happy to comply.

Of course, that meant challenging their leader, a mean bastard that absolutely no one seemed to like.

Before he even knew what was happening, a long spear had been thrust into his hands and he was shoved into a straw arena along with the man. He had barely enough time to listen to Daniel's shouted instructions before the leader had made his first move, almost disemboweling him.

They were very evenly matched at first until superbrick, as he had nicknamed the man, managed to land a heavy fist against his rib cage. He had gone down, hell with a couple of broken ribs he had had no choice, allowing superbrick's supporters to happily stab him a couple of times. Luckily for him, this was against the rules, and the annoyed crowd had swiftly dealt with the supporters - permanently.

A couple of people dying hard caused a commotion, and superbrick, not being the brightest of men, had turned his head to see what was going on.

Jack had only enough strength left for one thrust of his own spear, but that had been all he had needed.

SG1 had wanted him to return to the SGC and Doctor Fraiser's care immediately, but he had refused. He had risked everything to get this treaty and he simply was not going to fold before it had been ratified.

The blue people had thought it was heroism at its best, a fine show of courage that deserved their respect. The rest of SG1 knew different, but had no choice but to prop him up and stay nearby.

Somehow, he had persevered, staying conscious despite his wounds, and a trade deal had finally been struck with their new friends.

He felt the ridge of new scar tissue through his shirt, his smile slipping. Yes, the powers that be had their new deal, but the cost to him had been high, almost too high.

"Colonel, you had better have a look at this."

Jack jerked his head up to look at the fourth member of their little group, Major Samantha Carter, who had climbed on past him. She had spent most of the walk from the stargate with her head down, concentrating on a mysterious handheld doohickey. Now apparently this doohickey had done something.

"Major?" he asked warily. "Please tell me all you want to show me is your high score."

She shook her head, grinning despite herself. Sometimes he could act so dense.

"No sir," she said, beginning to hand the terra-spectroscope to him and changing her mind last minute.

Knowing him, he would only drop it, and knowing the military, they probably cost about a million bucks each.

"Sir," she said. "This scope is calibrated to search out Naquadric deposits beneath the soil, something both the UAV and subsequent MALP said this planet had in abundance."

She forgot herself and thrust the scope under his nose. "Well, as you can see, there is an over 45% concentration of Naquadricium deposits beneath our feet, meaning..."

"Ah!" he took a horrified step back, all but leveling his weapon at her.

"English please."

She hesitated, searching for a simple sentence.

"Naquadah and lead, sir. The hills and valleys of this planet consist of over 45% unrefined Naquadah, mixed in with 25% lead, and as far as I can tell, nobody has ever mined here."

"What does the other 30 percent consist of?" Jack asked warily.

Her expression was clear and innocent, fooling nobody.

"About 10% dirt sir."

"And the other 20%?" Jack asked, feeling like he was pulling teeth.

"Gold sir."

"Holy crap," Daniel wheezed, realizing the enormity of her statement. "You sure?"

She nodded, her eyes shining. "As far as I can tell, yes. Of course, we'll know for definite once we reach that village the UAV spotted."

"Which will be never if we don't start walking again," O'Neill, said putting his moaning team back on track. He was happy for her and her little gizmo, but he too had a job to do, and that was to make first contact.

...

"Well, this is interesting," he said a while later.

They had finally reached the large village the UAV had spotted and had hunkered down behind a convenient tree in order reconnoiter the lie of the land, so to speak.

Daniel crawled until he was lying next to him, staring down into a steep valley to where a bustling village nestled.

"Wow, this seems to be a Judeo-Christian society," he said happily. "Check that massive cathedral out up on that far hill." He raised his head slightly, staring at a building that could have easily have compared favorably against any cathedral on Earth. Light brown in color, with ornate stained glass windows and a large dome that shone in the sunshine; it was easily the most impressive building Daniel had seen for a long time. "That is amazing," Daniel whispered. "Damn, I can't wait to pay them a visit."

"Can we go down and say hello now?" he asked pitifully.

"You know the answer to that one," O'Neill said, slowly quartering the village with his binoculars.

"Crap," Daniel said with a sigh.

"Stop stealing my cusswords," Jack said distractedly. "And stop fidgeting."

Jack O'Neill knew of two occasions where their lives had been saved by simply watching and waiting, just in case. He was pleased to see that even Daniel, the most mercurial of the four of them, was finally beginning to realize the importance of a little patience.

Or not.

"What do you see?" Daniel asked, reaching for the binoculars. Jack relinquished them to Daniel's care and shaded his eyes.

"Look closely," he commanded. "Tell me what you see."

"I see a village of people Jack," he said impatiently. "They are...." his voice faltered incredulously. " What the heck?" He downed the glasses and stared at Jack.

"Twins. The whole village seems to..."

"It's probably something to do with the Naquadah," Carter interrupted, looking as incredulous as the others. "Or maybe the lead. I mean, there have been birth defects attributed to different mineral deposits since the beginning of time, so it's not too unusual to find the same sort of thing happening here."

Jack frowned, looking at his second carefully.

"Are we in any danger?" he asked.

She shook her head, a small frown of her own marring her forehead.

"I don't believe so, sir," she said. "It's not like the ground is irradiated, like Chernobyl or, well, Hiroshima. I believe what we're seeing here is a birth defect caused by long-term effects of Naquadah poisoning, probably via that lake over there."

She nodded to a sparkling area of water behind the cathedral.

"So we aren't in any real danger?"

She shook her head. "I don't believe so sir."

"Well," Jack said, his decision made. "Shall we meet and greet the residents of the town of twinsville?"

...

Their descent into the town immediately garnered them attention.

Jack had gotten used to that over the years, as had they all. A first contact team always had the most difficult job. The natives, or indigenous population of a planet could swing one of four ways.

1. There was, 'I know of travelers through the stargate, and they are not good people, so you consequently are not good people, and deserve to die,' or

2. 'You come through the gate, like the gods, therefore you are a god too,' or

3. 'You are the magnificent Tau'ri, come to rescue us from the false gods,' which very rarely happened - scratch that, never happened, or

4. Absolute ignorant bliss, which seemed to be the case with Twinsville.

"Oh boy," Jack muttered, blinking as his mind grappled with the idea of seeing a double of everyone, "now this is bizarre."

"You're telling me," Daniel muttered, gamely quashing a feeling of unreality. He was seeing double, up close double, and it was more than his brain could handle.

"This reminds me of those twins conventions they have at Disney world," Teal'c muttered.

Jack looked at the big Jaffa, stunned at his observation.

"Where'd you learn that, T?" he asked.

"Jerry Springer," Teal'c said, "He is most informative."

"I'll bet," Carter said darkly.

Daniel came to a halt at the beginnings of the town, and plastered a smile on his face.

"Oh boy," he muttered, swallowing hard, aware of Jack's sympathetic grimace.

Everywhere he looked, there were pairs of identical twins, some pairs male, some female, all of whom seemed to be looking at them incredulously. As he watched, even more people seemed to come boiling out of homes and businesses, until the road leading into town was completely blocked by doubles.

"O'Neill," Teal'c muttered under his breath. "The villagers do not seem too welcoming."

"So I see," Jack said. "Daniel? Do something, and quick."

"They seem to be an agricultural people, probably mid fifteenth century Western Europe," Daniel muttered, listening to the staccato English whispered by the curious onlookers. "They also seem upset to see us."

"No really?" Jack asked sarcastically, staring warily at the various village implements the villagers carried. "We would never have guessed."

"Well, they are," Daniel said, looking hurt.

"So do something," Jack hissed.

Daniel smiled engagingly as two identical rotund people forced their way through the onlookers.

"Oh look, Tweedledum and Tweedledee," Jack said quietly, relaxing slightly. The presence of authority always reduced the threat level.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, lowering his staff weapon, oblivious to the incredulous looks the others were giving him. "Most intriguing."

"Springer again?" Jack asked.

"www.farytale.com" Teal'c said, his face bland. "They are most descriptive."

Daniel was hard pressed not to smile, but their assessment was right on the nail. The twins trotting towards them did indeed look like they had stepped right out of the pages of a classic children's story. They were small, with neat red hair and beards, and had identical golden chains around their necks.

Daniel, recognizing a chain of office, bowed.

"Greetings," he said. "We are travelers from a distant planet called Earth."

Smile on face, he waited for their reaction.

What he got was not what he expected.

"Where is your other?" One of the Mayoral twins exclaimed, looking around, puzzled.

"Other?" Daniel asked, feeling lost.

"Yes," the other man growled unhappily, an emotion rapidly picked up by the crowd behind him. "Your other." He pointed to his brother emphatically. "Your other."

"Oh," Daniel said, realization dawning. "We have no others. We are alone."

The crowd gasped, stepping back as if he had said something offensive, indeed, from the looks on the faces of Tweedledum and Dee, he had.

"Once more you defile our village. Have you no shame?" the one Daniel had privately named Tweedledee said incredulously.

Daniel tried not to let his smile slip. The crowds were now muttering amongst themselves, their faces angry.

'I don't know what you mean," he said, his brain vainly struggling for a way out. "On our...."

A warm hand on his cut him off.

"We would like to apologize," Jack said smoothly. "Our.... others are back on our home planet, where they are safe. We.... ah," his voice failed him as he scrabbled for an excuse they would believe.

"We do not believe in endangering both.... others," Carter said brightly, sighing in relief as both men nodded sagely.

"It is not our custom to speak or interact with unjoined people," the calmer of the twins said. "It was wise that you spoke of the whereabouts of your others before our standing judgment was inflicted onto you.

"And that is?" Jack asked cautiously.

"Stoning until you breathe no more," the other snapped, still plainly upset, jerking his thumb at an area that looked like an abandoned brickyard.

"Maybe this time we would actually succeed." His statement was met with mutters of agreement from the crowd standing behind him.

"Go back to your village, strangers," The other twin interrupted, giving his brother what could only be described as a warning look. "Return with your others, and we will talk again."

"Come Daniel," Jack said gently, backing away, aware that some of the crowd had started towards the brickyard with the obvious intent of gathering ammunition. "We will get our others and...."

"Return. Yeah, right," the linguist said bitterly.

...

"So now what do we do?" Daniel asked some ten minutes later, after Jack was certain that the last pair of the pursuing villagers had been left behind. "Just meekly admit defeat? Go through the stargate like whipped dogs?"

Jack gave him a sideways look. "We may have no choice," he murmured.

"The village elders are hiding something from us," Teal'c said, his face thoughtful. "The one twin, one of the pair, implied that their judgment had not always been successful."

"Like if they had tried to stone a Goa'uld or a Jaffa, perhaps?" Carter asked.

"And had a very pissed off snakehead enslave them for there troubles?" Jack asked.

"Maybe, but I saw no evidence of any Goa'uld activity," Daniel said slowly.

"I'm open to suggestions," Jack said. He looked around at his team. "Anyone?"

"We need to get back into that village," Daniel said. "That goes without saying."

"Got any twins?" Jack asked, making Daniel scowl.

"Airman Gregory has a twin in NORAD, Carter said thoughtfully. They're young, but...."

"If you are talking about the same Airman Gregory I'm thinking of, then he's nineteen," O'Neill said, "and way too young to negotiate for mineral rites with a bunch of xenophobic doubles."

"Well, begging your pardon sir," Carter said exasperatedly, "someone has to. This planet is too good to lose."

"Maybe one of the people on the other SG teams has an identical twin," Daniel said hopefully.

"We need not look any further than ourselves," Teal'c said contentedly, making them all stare at him in puzzlement.

"Pardon?" Major Carter said. "How do you figure that one out? I have a brother, and Daniel is an only child."

"Unless you...." Jack stared at the big Jaffa, his eyebrow raised. "You been holding out on us big guy? You got an identical twin stashed away that we don't know about?"

Teal'c shook his head. "I do not," he said. "You, on the other hand, do."

It took Jack a moment to make all the right connections.

"Now, wait a minute," he blustered, seeing his team break into smiles. "Joe is not my twin, and we are definitely not alike."

"Sez you," Daniel said smugly. "No one at the SGC can tell you apart, and you say you're not identical?"

Jack shook his head stubbornly. "We're not. For starters, he had hazel eyes, whereas mine are brown, he wears glasses, whereas I do not...."

"They're for reading Jack," Daniel burst out exasperatedly.

"And I'm older by 11 months," O'Neill finished.

"Besides your age difference, you are identical, sir, believe me," Carter said. "And I bet that the villagers will welcome you both with open arms."

"And Joe can investigate that cathedral for me whilst you hammer out a trade deal," Daniel said.

"And they all lived happily thereafter," Teal'c said in a deep voice, stopping them dead.

"Remind me to junk his computer," Jack said darkly.

...

"A village of twins?" General Hammond said a couple of hours later. "How unusual."

"It had to happen sooner or later," Sam Carter said thoughtfully. "The law of averages said that we would eventually find a planet where Mother Nature wasn't as effective as she should be, and now we have."

"Any idea as to what's causing it?" Hammond asked.

"The water table is extremely high in the hills surrounding the village," she answered. "I took a sample, and there is an exceptionally high concentration of both Naquadah and lead in the water. Janet is still running tests as we speak, but I believe that is the source of the bizarre birth rate."

"Hmm," Hammond said, deep in thought. "Now we have a problem. According to your report, the villagers won't speak to anybody who has no identical twin, and as far as I can tell, the only twins we have in the SGC are Major Ferretti with his twin sister based in Hawaii, and Airman Gregory and his brother upstairs at NORAD.

Carter perked up. "Airman Gregory is a pupil of mine. Sure, he and his brother are identical, I've seen them together, but I really think they are a bit young to shoulder a mission like this on their own."

"Nor need they," Teal'c said calmly. "We only need O'Neill, and Joe, kin O'Neill."

General Hammond nodded slowly; the beginnings of a broad smile spreading across his face.

"Quite so," he said.

"Do I have a say in this?" an annoyed voice said.

General Hammond leaned back in his chair and regarded his second indulgently. "Sure you do," he said. "After all, he is your twin."

"Joe and I are not identical," O'Neill said emphatically. "But, for arguments sake, say we did gate to Twinsville, we would have no back up, at all." He shook his head slowly. "Allow me to rephrase that. I would have no back up. I can't very well ask Joe to carry a gun."

"You would in all likelihood not need backup," Daniel said optimistically. "There is no real evidence of there ever being any Goa'uld contact with that world."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Oh really?" he asked sarcastically. "Then who survived the stoning that they were talking about?"

"It doesn't have to be a Goa'uld," Daniel said desperately.

"And how do you figure that?" Jack asked. "Just because that church had a cross above it, and not the eye of Ra, doesn't necessarily mean the place is Goa'uld free."

Daniel nodded. "True," he said. "Nevertheless..."

"Nevertheless, they could be there, just waiting for us."

"Maybe," Daniel conceded reluctantly, seeing his prospects of researching the cathedral diminishing. Joe would know what to look for, and was handy with a camcorder.

"Joe, I might add," O'Neill continued, "has never seen a Goa'uld before, and I'd like to keep it that way, if you please."

"That might not be possible," General Hammond said cautiously. " Hopefully Dr Jackson is right, and there are no Goa'uld within light-years of P38 9H7, but there are no guarantees, you know that."

Colonel O'Neill's eyes met those of his superior's. "Are you determined that we go through with this?" he asked directly.

"I can't make it an order," Hammond replied. "You know that. All I can say is this, that you are our only hope. You and Joe."

"Ah crap," O'Neill said, finally capitulating. Joe was gonna be ecstatic. He had been pressing for an offworld mission for months now.

He leaned forwards again, thinking furiously. "About Lou Ferretti's sister. Can we wait 24 hours and get her in? Lou is a good person to have in a firefight, and Maria is a marine. They'd be good backup to have at the gate, just in case."

"Can't we cut her hair and send her and Ferretti along with you?" Daniel asked.

Jack snorted. "Maria is like Carter here," he nodded at the furiously scribbling Major. "Tough as nails, but with curves in, ah, very feminine places, if you know what I mean." He looked at Carter sheepishly.

"Boobs, you mean sir?" she asked sweetly, relishing the pink flush evident on his cheeks.

"Ah, yes," he said, staring at the table for a moment before raising his eyes to hers again. "This alone would make her stand out. However, if she and Lou stayed and guarded the gate, the villagers would never know."

"I have a better idea," Carter said slowly. "Why don't I dye my hair light brown, like Daniel's? That, along with an identical pair of glasses may just pass me off as his twin." She shrugged, thinking hard. "We don't know for sure that all the twins are identical. I mean, Tweedledee just said we were...unjoined." She shrugged. "Who knows, maybe you can tell them that on our planet we get both types of twin. Hopefully they swallow it, giving you backup."

Daniel was nodding, his face enthusiastic.

"That might work," he said. "Even if it doesn't, we can at least help guard the gate."

General Hammond regarded his second closely. "There's an idea," he said cautiously.

O'Neill brightened. "A very good idea, actually," he said.

...

"Take your protein pills and put your helmet on..." Father Joe O'Neill sang quietly, aware that the old David Bowie song wasn't going down too well with his brother.

Tough.

"Yes Jack," he said in a singsong voice before his brother could speak. "I remember what you told me." He held up his hands in a placatory manner when Jack scowled. "I won't let you down."

"You had better not," Jack growled, patting Joe's helmet for emphasis.

"Oh for Pete's sake, Jack, I'm an O'Neill," Joe said exasperatedly. "With our degrees nobody could ever accuse us of being a thick family, and I am not gonna lose some gray matter now."

"Degrees?" Daniel asked, aware that the others in the gate room were just as interested.

Joe brightened. "Why yes. I have a master's in Divinity and of course, Jack has his doctorates in...

"Brother bashing," Jack growled, spinning Joe around to check his pack.

"Doctorates?" Daniel mouthed at Sam, seeing her shrug.

"Do you need both Bibles?" Jack asked his brother, bringing them back to the matter at hand.

Joe nodded, rolling his eyes at Daniel. "I do."

"I also need the copper crucifix, so leave off."

"Won't a plain cross do?" Jack asked impatiently. "That crucifix weighs a ton."

Joe shook his head. "No," he said sarcastically. "In layman's terms, just for you, it has to have the figure of Jesus on it for it to have any real significance."

"Uh-huh," Jack said, already feeling ragged, and they hadn't even left the gateroom yet.

"Lou?"

One curly head lifted from where it had been in deep discussion with another, a compact female version.

"Sir?"

"You, Maria and the youngsters guard the gate. I'll take point, with Joe behind me." He drew in a deep breath, regarding Carter with critical eyes. She had her hair dyed the exact shade as Daniel's, and with her glasses on, she and Daniel really did look alike.

Eerie.

"I have decided that we are going to risk it, and take Jackson and Carter with us, seeing as she has done such a good job." He nodded, letting her see his approval.

"She would be an exact match for Daniel, if it wasn't for them curves."

Sam was aware of Maria looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Curves?"

"Long story," she muttered as the gate engaged.

...

P38 9H7 was just as cold as the first time they had visited, and just as green, with a thick layer of frost crunching underfoot.

"Well, at least we know that no one used the gate," Joe said, smiling happily. "If they had, we would have seen their footprints."

"We know that no one has used the gate in the past couple of hours, that's all," his brother grunted, watchful brown eyes slowly scanning the horizon. "I scarcely think that the frost has been there all night."

Finally, he pronounced himself satisfied and turned to Joe, Daniel and Carter. "Let's move out, twinnies. If we're really lucky, we'll be just in time for breakfast."

Just under an hour later, they were once more crouched behind their tree, watching as the peaceful looking village went about their early morning chores.

It seemed that there was bread to be baked, and cows to be milked, and children to be taught, and wherever the townspeople went, they went in pairs.

"They don't go to far from each other," Daniel said. "I didn't notice that last time, but look."

He gestured with an arm, one Jack hastily pulled down with a warning growl.

"Where one twin is, so the other is as well," he whispered. "It's as if they are joined at the hip."

"Great," Jack grunted. "So assuming we don't get stoned to death the minute they see us, Joe will have to stick by my side whilst we negotiate for the Naquadah."

"So will Sam," Daniel muttered. "You can't negotiate on your own."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Daniel," Jack muttered.

"And then we can all go and visit that really magnificent cathedral," Joe said, his eyes shining.

"How boring," Jack muttered, getting to his feet. He gestured towards the village. "Shall we?"

...

They were spotted as soon as they crested the hill, creating almost exactly the same furor as they had last time.

"Déjà vu?" Daniel muttered to Sam, watching as the rotund mayors once more trotted up to Jack.

"Indeed," she said, sounding so like Teal'c he almost grinned.

"Greetings," Tweedledum said, nodding at Joe before turning his attention back to Jack. "I see that you have bought your other this time."

Jack inclined his head respectfully. "This time, yes," he said. "And as you may gather, I fiercely protect my other - from any danger."

Tweedledum nodded, the threat received and understood.

"As do we all," he said. He patted his chest. "I am Cogan." He pointed to his twin. "This is Copal."

Copal nodded his own greeting, no longer displaying any of the anger he had at their first meeting.

"Greetings and welcome to our village," he said shortly. The light glinted off of a small stud imbedded in one ear, much to Jack's relief. At least now, he could tell them apart.

"I am Jack," he said, realizing it was his turn. "This is Joe."

Joe merely nodded silently, pleasing Jack immensely.

"And your young friends behind you?" Cogan asked, plainly curious.

Jack's sense of caution kicked into high gear, and he spoke carefully.

"Daniel you met last time we were here." He gestured towards Carter. "This is his twin, Sam."

"But she is a girl," Cogan said, astonished.

"That...happens on our planet," Daniel said slowly. "Our twins are not necessary male-male, female-female."

"How intriguing," Copal said. "Nevertheless, she is your other?"

Daniel nodded, looking relieved. " She is indeed, my other, my other half," he clarified.

"And when you have a female other, your names no longer rhyme?" Copal asked.

Daniel stiffened, a sense of caution stealing over him. There was something in Copal's eyes...

"No, of course our names rhyme," he said testily, as if insulted. "Sam's name is actually Danielle, but she prefers Sam."

"Most women on my planet prefer different names from our male others," Sam said softly. "It gives us a sense of identity."

"How...odd," Copal said, but didn't push it.

Joe decided that he had been quiet for long enough.

"May we enter your village?" he asked politely. "We are visitors from far away, and have much to talk about."

Cogan, rapidly becoming the more lenient of the twins, smiled and made a grand gesture towards the village.

"Of course, forgive our tardiness. Welcome to the village of Kuj."

"Kuj?" Jack said cautiously. "Just Kuj?" He ignored both Daniel and Joe's warning looks.

"Not Kuj-Kuj?"

Cogan turned towards him, looking puzzled. "No, just Kuj," he said, puzzled. "Why do you ask?"

Jack shrugged. "It just seems too short for a place inhabited by doubles."

To everyone's relief, the twinned mayors seemed to find this very funny.

"Do your places have double names?" Copal asked, smiling broadly.

"Oh yes," Jack said looking at his brother innocently.

"Why, we have Bora-Bora."

"Wagga-Wagga," Daniel said helpfully.

"And Dum-Dum," Joe said, staring at his brother pointedly.

"One day I would like come with you and visit this Dum-Dum," Cogan said, still chuckling, "but I do not believe that you have come all this way just to trade village names with us.

"How true," Jack said, abruptly sober. "We have in fact, come here to negotiate for mineral rights."

Cogan led them towards what seemed to be the local city hall.

"Come, let us discuss all this inside, away from prying eyes."

...

The town hall consisted of a large airy room. The light streamed through from high skylights, illuminating a large circular table, whether by design or by accident, they didn't know.

It nevertheless gave the travelers the impression that these people, twins, led a democracy, albeit a small one, which was always a reassuring sight to see.

There would have been no circular table and no democracy if a Goa'uld had been in charge.

"...So, in return for this mineral, we could give you better grain, and help you with other things designed to improve your lives," Daniel said earnestly.

He and Sam had taken turns in speaking with the village elders, Jack quite content to sit back and let SG1's wunderkinds do their job. In a pinch, he could negotiate right alongside them, but, ego aside, he knew that Daniel and Carter could get far more concessions out of their hosts than he ever could.

"So this... Naquadah, is below our feet?" Cogan asked, not for the first time.

"Yes it is," Sam said patiently. "It has a variety of uses, one being defense against the Goa'uld."

For a moment there was dead silence, then Copal spoke.

"Truly?"

There was something in the way he said that word, a kind of desperate plea that immediately sent Jack's antennae twanging.

"Truly," he answered flatly.

"There are no Goa'uld on...where we come from, a place called Earth," Daniel said, watching the twinned mayors carefully.

"Do you have Goa'uld here?" Sam asked gently.

She received no reply.

"They call themselves gods," Joe said, "but are not. We of Earth know who our God really is, and we cast out the false pretenders a long time ago."

The room settled into a kind of stunned silence as the mayors looked at each other, communicating almost telepathically.

Then Copal turned back to them, his shoulders slumped.

"You are but four. You cannot help us."

"Ah, but you'd be surprised what we can do," Jack said briskly before heeding Daniel's upraised hand and settling back into silence.

"May I ask what happened to the village of Kuj?" Daniel asked.

At first, the twins seemed reluctant to speak, and Daniel allowed them the time to reflect on things, praying that the others would remain silent. Thankfully they did.

"They came out of the north," Cogan finally said, stroking his beard agitatedly. "One creature, a man, being carried on a litter by four other pitiful people. Behind him came six other creatures, dressed in leather and hard shiny clothes that shone like silver."

"They all had brands on their foreheads," Copal said, looking ferocious. "They were also unjoined."

"How terrible," Jack muttered, garnering himself a few dirty looks.

"What did you do?" Sam asked quietly.

"We tried to drive them out, of course," Copal said.

"But they would not go," Cogan said sadly. "Instead they lashed out at us with lightning they held in their hands, causing a great many of us to fall to the ground, unconscious."

"Zats," Jack murmured.

"When there was no resistance left," Cogan said, "when even my own other lay on the ground, writhing in pain, then the lead creature spoke."

"What did he want?" Joe asked.

"He wanted all our riches," Copal said angrily. "He noticed our mayoral chains, and his eyes glowed. He called the metal something called..." he looked helplessly at his brother. "Was it the same?"

"Naquadah," Cogan continued. "Yes, he too called this metal Naquadah. He demanded more of the metal, as much as we could find."

"When we said that yellow ice was plentiful, but it would take time to get it from our rivers, he said he would return when the sun has set fifty times."

""He said that if we had not got sufficient yellow ice for him when he returned, he would kill all the other's," Copal said.

"Yellow ice?" whispered Jack.

"It must be their name for Naquadah," Sam whispered back.

Daniel pushed his glasses up his nose, thinking hard.

"Okay," he said, "let me get this straight," he said.

"This Goa'uld..." he looked up quizzically. "He didn't give you a name, did he?"

"Khnum," Cogan said helpfully. "His creatures had the head of a goat branded into their foreheads."

"A ram actually," Daniel said. "A very minor system lord," he muttered when Jack glared at him.

"Nevertheless still dangerous," Sam said.

"Oh yes." Daniel agreed. " So this Khnum came here to Kuj, retaliating when he was stoned by using his lightning weapons, called zats. When you were finally beaten into submission, he demanded all the yellow ice you had."

The twins nodded silently.

"When you protested that you had none, but could get, this Goa'uld gave you fifty days in which to find some."

The twins nodded again.

"Even now we mine for the ice, lest he does even worse things to us when he returns."

"So, how much time do we have left before the Snake...Goa'uld returns?" Jack asked.

"Nowhere near enough time," Cogan said.

Jack merely lifted an eyebrow.

"The Goa'uld returns this evening," Copal said, his words falling into a silent chasm.

...

"Crap," Jack said, marching them back towards the Stargate. "Crap, crap and double crap," he added, knowing that the Gate was at least an hour away.

"And you said there was no sign of any Goa'uld," he snarled at Daniel, his face thunderous.

"Nor was there," Daniel huffed back, aware that Jack was just worried. "How was I to know that this Goa'uld was going to use the stargate like we did?"

"This is how our luck goes," Jack moaned to Joe. "I mean, I bet the stargate hasn't been used in millennia, yet a Goa'uld steps through just before we arrive."

"Fifty days before we arrive," Joe said.

"Forty-nine and a half, actually," Jack said, furiously marching backwards, his eyes constantly scanning the green muddy hills.

"Which brings me to another point," he continued "We can't get here with say, five days to go. Not us. Oh no. The much vaunted SG1 have to arrive right before Lord Klug is due to return, thus seriously endangering the four people left behind to guard the gate."

"We'll make it in time, sir" Carter said soothingly, sighing in relief as Jack spun on his heel, facing forwards again.

"And there we'll wait, taking out Lord Snakiness and his entourage before they know what's happening," she muttered, watching as Jack nodded in agreement.

"You'll do what?" Joe asked, his voice incredulous.

Skidding to a halt, he stared at his colleagues with wide eyes before being yanked into motion again by Jack.

"We will... prevent them from ever reaching the village," Daniel said delicately, aware of Jack's approving look. Unlike SG1, Joe had never seen a Goa'uld and coupled with his priestly pacifist way, could very well take what Jack intended they do rather badly.

No, whom was he kidding? Joe was going to take an ambush badly, no matter what the target was, but as far as Daniel could see, there was no other way.

Now that gave him pause for thought. Since when had he leaned more towards Jack than Joe?

His pacifist side screamed at him hysterically as his military side, honed from years of working with SG1, dispassionately informed him there was no other option. If they wished to mine Naquadah here, they would have to rid Kuj of the Goa'uld and his Jaffa.

Permanently.

"It's not an easy decision to have to make, is it?"

Daniel looked up as Jack dropped back to walk at his side.

"Am I that transparent?" he mused, making Jack grin faintly.

"You are," he said quietly. "As is Joe." His expression sobered. "I didn't want this to happen, for Joe to ever meet a Goa'uld." His eyes looked hard at he watched Carter scramble down the hill in front of them, the blonde Major still setting the bruising pace that Jack had started.

"Unfortunately my wish may not come to pass." The faint grin was back. "In fact, knowing the history of SG1 like I do, I wouldn't be surprised if they are en route as we speak."

"For the Ferretti's sake I hope not," Daniel muttered.

"Believe me, so do I," came the reply.

...

The gate looked quiet in the distance. Too quiet, Jack's paranoid side told him.

Evening was beginning to set in, turning the horizon into a dusky brown color, and Jack grimaced.

They were too late.

"Kiddies..." he whispered, and SG1 melted into the undergrowth, Jack dragging Joe with him.

"What was that all about?" Joe hissed, ineffectively brushing at the sticky mud that now covered his arms and front. "The place looks deserted. Why don't we just collect Lou, his sister, those young kids and go home?"

"Why is it deserted, Joe?" Jack asked almost absently, his eyes constantly scanning the surrounding terrain, P90 at the ready.

"What is this, a pop quiz or something?" Joe snapped from behind him. "How am I to know?"

"Joe," Jack said gently. "We have four people here, two of whom should be guarding the stargate. Instead, we have nothing - no one, just an empty gate that fairly screams out 'trap'."

"Bullshit," Joe breathed, casting a wary eye over the crest of the hill they were hidden behind nonetheless.

"No bullshit, and you know it," Jack said, losing patience. "Now, I intend on springing their trap, but in order to do that, I need you to stay right where you are."

"But, isn't that dangerous?" Joe asked, sounding so like Daniel that Jack blinked.

"Hopefully not," he said, trying a conciliatory tack. "However, I might have to use violence, and if I do, I want to know that you aren't in the line of fire."

"I won't be, I'm not that stupid," Joe muttered, scowling ferociously when Jack raised an incredulous eyebrow.

"I'm not, you know," he petulantly.

Jack sighed. "Joe please, I know you." He patted his brother on his shoulder, emphasizing his point. "Stay - here, okay?"

He didn't wait for Joe's reply, merely vaulting over the crest of the hill and sauntering down to where the stargate was located.

Something was rotten in the state of...Norway, he thought. No Denmark. Damn, he hated the pre action lull.

Everything seemed all too real to his heightened senses. The grass was just a bit too green, the air too icy and if he hitched his breath, he could swear that he could hear the breathing of at least four Jaffa hidden somewhere close by.

At least four, minimum.

He was covered every step of the way to the gate by Carter and Daniel, of course. This he knew, as it wasn't the first time they had used this trick to flush out the Jaffa.

Not that it got any easier with practice.

No friggin way.

"Here kitty-kitty," he muttered half to himself, breath frosting in the icy air. "Here kitty-kitty."

Like last time, and the time before that, he hoped that curiosity won, and he didn't just collect a staff weapon blast for his trouble.

"C'mon kitty," he murmured, feeling the hairs stiffen all over his body. "Come and get it."

Take one dumb Tau'ri, hands in pockets, weapon slung harmlessly at his side, heading towards the gate like nothing in the galaxy was wrong. Add a clumsy fall just before gate, and stir with colorful invectives whilst lying face down on the ground.

Hopefully end up with fried Jaffa.

So far, it had worked without fail.

So far.

The fun part was to make the fall look as natural as possible.

You try making yourself deliberately fall face first into the dirt. It isn't fun.

Of course, lying face down made it easier to grab the P90...

Yelling out loud, he made a graceless swan dive for the mud, ears straining for noise.

Of course, with the ground being so wet, there wasn't any.

The Jaffa's 'Kree' and Carters gunshot came as one, closely followed by Daniel's own shots. He was moving as soon as he heard the first heavy thud of a body falling, scrambling for the gate.

"Ferretti?" he yelled. If those bastards had killed them he'd...

"Here!" a voice shouted and he changed direction, charging over another hill.

The Jaffa guard and he saw one another at the same instant, but Jack was faster - and extremely upset, which could have added at least a tenth of speed to his time.

Suffice it to say, the Jaffa never stood a prayer.

"Nice of you to drop in... sir," Ferretti said, wiping brain matter from his cheek.

"You would rather be a playmate of the month?" Jack asked sarcastically, knowing that Lou would understand. "Or your sister maybe?"

"My ah, curves are wrong, they sag too much," Maria said with a smirk, instantly reaching for a spare P90, her comment making her brother gulp audibly.

Jack just shook his head sadly. That one he wouldn't touch for all the booze in Afghanistan.

"The Gregory's?"

Two blonde heads rose from a slight depression in the earth. "Here sir."

"Stay put," he said, scooping up two zats and throwing it to the young men. He whipped his head back to Ferretti, eyebrows raised.

"No Goa'uld I trust?"

Ferretti shook his head, his face feral in the overcast light. "No just one of those stun sphere thingy's. They tossed it through the open gate and caught Maria and both the Gregory's before I could yell." He shrugged. "After that I thought it prudent to surrender and take my chances."

"Good man," Jack said, patting Ferretti on the back. "Unnecessary bloodshed we don't need."

"Not unless its Goa'uld sir," Ferretti said, eying the dormant gate balefully. "The Jaffa were an advance party for some high and mightly Goa'uld muckety-muck. What say we make this trip his last?"

"You're all so willing and eager to kill," a distressed voice said from behind Jack, and Joe walked into view. "Is there no middle ground you could take?"

"Sure," Ferretti said. "Unfortunately for them, the Goa'uld mined the middle ground years ago. Now there is only the high ground left." He looked thoughtful. "Of course, mining the middle ground could be grounds for a law case, but I don't think that the Goa'uld would pitch somehow, and the whole process would probably grind to a halt..."

"What?" Joe asked, completely lost.

"We stand our ground," Jack said, just to annoy his brother. Even he had to earn a degree in Ferretti speak, not that he would ever tell Joe that.

"And kill them?" Joe asked, trying to appeal to Sam and the silent Daniel who had just joined them. "Don't they get even a sporting chance at life?"

Jack had had enough.

"Joe," he said. "Let me tell you about the Goa'uld." When he was sure he everyone's attention, he continued.

"PG7 872," he said, watching Carter's face drop.

"We went there on a follow up visit, returning to say hi to the friendly villagers that dotted the landscape. Four to a tent, and rather like Red Indians of old, there had been thousands of them dotted all over the place."

"They were all gone when we returned."

"Well, most of them," Carter muttered, her hands tightening on her P90.

"Daniel was on another mission, and he should be so grateful for that," Jack said. "At least he does not carry around the memories of what we found."

The Goa'uld had come through the stargate between our last visit and the next," Carter said. Almost all the men on PG7 872 had been dragged off as slaves," Carter said softly. "Of the people who were left, most were woman."

Her eyes found Joes, luminous with unshed tears.

"All of them had been raped. There had been no exceptions."

"Dear God," Joe muttered, his face pale.

"They needed a harvest, see?" Jack said bitterly. "The Tanmans, the people of PG7 872, were a hardy lot, capable of great strength and courage, and if the Goa'uld took all the men, who would continue the race?"

"So the Goa'uld in charge, a minor system lord called Han' a, ordered his Jaffa to ... seed them, to start a new harvest."

"Oh God," Maria said. Even the toughened marine looked sick.

"Of course, they had nowhere to live, and no crops to eat, all had been burned to the ground," Jack said. "Not that that worried the Jaffa any. Their master said rape and pillage, and rape and pillage they did."

"We came through a week later," Carter said. "In those few seconds it took for the Colonel to take one step through the gate and for them to recognize that he was male he gained no less than three arrows."

"That was not fun," Jack muttered, his face dark with memories. "Not that I blame them. Not at all."

"Once I had managed stabilize the Colonel, I managed to pacify the remaining villagers, and the horrific truth came out," Carter continued. "Of the over ten thousand male Tanmans on their planet, over eight thousand had been herded through the stargate. Of the two thousand left, most were instantly killed as being too weak or old. Only the young were left."

"They were to be the next harvest in ten years or so," Jack said.

"Anyhow," Carter said, her face now ivory white. "We scraped the Colonel up and returned with an all female team and a offer to help." She looked down at her feet. "It was refused."

"For heavens sake why?" Joe asked.

"It seems they were being punished for their kindness," Jack said. "Somehow, Han' a had gotten wind of the fact that the Tanmans had hosted the bold brave Tau'ri, and decided to retaliate."

"The survivors, believing the Goa'uld would return, and frightened out of their minds, literally chased us back through the stargate," Carter said. "We haven't seen them since."

"And on the planet designated PG7 872 a whole lot of little Jaffa are growing," Jack said bitterly.

"But, that's one instance," Joe said huskily, staring at the inert gate with sick eyes. "Surely other Goa'uld have more compassion than that?"

"Amonet, didn't," Daniel said at last, his face drawn.

Joe looked at Daniel curiously.

"Amonet? Who was she?" he asked.

"My wife," he said bitterly. "Well, the Goa'uld that took over Sha're," he amended.

"I didn't know that," Joe said huskily. "Did she, is she...?"

"She died, a while ago."

His eyes met Joe's, and the priest was shocked by the angst seen there.

"Just for a moment, right at the end, Sha're managed to take over, but even then, the Goa'uld inside her was too strong, and if it hadn't been for Teal'c..."

It had taken him a long time to accept Teal'c's role in what had happened, and now that he had, Daniel was upset that the large Jaffa was not around to hear it.

"Sweet," Jack said, breaking up what had become a very serious moment. "Now you know what they are really like, I suggest we set up really good defensive positions before the first chevron's light up, hmm?"

"No problem," Ferretti said with a smile. "We, Maria and I, had just figured the best positions in order to guard the gate when this first lot of Jaffa decided to come through."

"Good. Let's get to it then," he said, grimacing as - if summoned - the first chevron lit up with a thunk.

There wasn't much cover to hide behind, and what there was now consisted of a marshy bog, the ground churned up by their and the Jaffa's feet, but it was all they had, and knowing that, Jack grabbed Joe by the collar and threw him face first into the nearest ditch.

Thankfully, Joes shout of outrage was muffled as Jack fell on top of him.

Brown eyes met furious hazel ones, begging for understanding.

"Joe, please," Jack said, tensing as the second chevron lit up.

Joe frowned. There was something about Jack's posture that was worrisome.

"Are you sure?" he asked, seeking clarification once and for all.

"That they are evil? Yes," Jack said. "That they will kill you soon as look at you? Yes." He hunkered down as the third chevron lit up.

"Pure evil," Joe mused. "I guess it is possible, like there is pure good."

"Great," Jack said. "Now we have that settled, stay down." He patted Joe on the shoulder. "If I should lose you I'd never..." he winced as the fourth chevron lit up and Joe suddenly realized what was wrong with his brother. Jack was terrified. For him.

"Jack," he whispered, hesitating as the fifth chevron activated. "Jack, I'll be okay."

"Just stay down," Jack snapped as the sixth chevron activated. He crawled to the edge of their hole and raised his P90, knowing that the rest of his team was doing the same. He hated this part, the waiting, made worse by his fear for his brother. No matter how hard he tried, he could not shake off the feeling that something bad was going to happen, and it was driving him insane.

"Heads up kids," he yelled as the seventh chevron snapped on. "Here they come."

Bracing himself against his silent brother, Jack peered over the edge of his hole and squinted at the stargate, watching as the center ring filled with blue whatchamacallit. Now the crunch time was on them, and it was up to them to stop the Goa'uld and his Jaffa dead.

Focusing his whole attention through the P90 viewfinder, he waited for Jaffa.

What he got was four active stun grenades, thrown through the gate at great force, bouncing and rolling through the mud.

"Watch out!" he yelled, staring at the silver orbs and already knowing that it was too late.

...

"Who are you?"

Jack squinted upright blinking hard as residual flashes of light swam across his vision, wondering where the watery sunshine had gone. One moment they had been at the gate and the next...

Rolling onto his knees, he snuck a look at his watch, shocked to find that he had been unconscious for hours. It was almost morning.

"Oof. God Damn it that hurt," he snarled as the half remembered Jaffa buried his foot in his ribs again.

"Who are you?" the man, obviously the Prime, snarled.

"F'koff," Jack muttered, doing a swift reconnoiter of their new home.

They were in a barn of some sort. That part was easy. The walls were wood, the ground underneath him straw, yep, a barn. What made him even happier was the tousled hair of seven other people surrounding him. So, everyone was alive, and intact. Wonderful.

"What are you doing here, F'koff?" the Jaffa asked, to his faint amusement, taking him literally. He had the head of a ram etched in gold on his forehead.

"Sightseeing?" he asked hopefully.

"Liar," the Jaffa spat, and buried the other chain mailed foot in his side. This time Jack definitely heard a rib crack, and yelled, rolling away from the hurt. Well, Joe had wanted a demonstration on the meanness of the Goa'uld, after all. The problem was, he had no idea whether he had covered their malicious sidekicks, the Jaffa.

"Do not try my patience," the Prime said. "Your weapons are Tau'ri, as are your uniforms." He took a swift step forwards and kicked again, making Jack cry out, despite himself, as another rib snapped. At this rate, he reflected, he would be dead before the Jaffa got anything useful from him.

"Your badges say SG1, and yet there are duplicates of all of you, as there are with everyone else on this accursed planet."

"It's the water," Jack whispered. "Don't drink..."

"Bring him," The Prime said, whirling on a pair of Jaffa stood patiently behind him. "Lord Khnum wishes an audience."

...

The town hall wasn't anywhere near as friendly when there was a Goa'uld in residence. In fact, it was downright spooky, Jack thought, made worse by the hideous red curtains someone had found and hung over the windows, giving the place a stifling feeling. It was made worse by the ten or so Jaffa, guarding every exit. The round table in the middle of the room was gone, replaced by an ornate throne, on which a small dark haired man lounged, a large pendant of a ram around his neck.

"Kneel before your God," the prime hissed.

"No thanks," Jack said, tensed for the pain that was sure to follow. Instead, the Goa'uld waved a negligent ruby ringed hand.

"You have damaged him," he said in a high-pitched voice.

The Prime stiffened.

"My Lord?" he asked carefully.

"Him." The Goa'uld pointed a lacquered finger at Jack. "He gasps for breath." He made a tisking noise and leapt to his feet.

"I have told you before, my sweet Prime, that no one may damage goods before I have seen them."

"He was resisting accompanying us," the Prime said sullenly.

"Was he now?" the Goa'uld, obviously Khnum, asked. "Were you?" he asked Jack directly, making Jack raise his eyebrows in surprise.

"I guess," he said cautiously. "You see, we are peaceful travelers and were on our way back to our village when this..." He etched a huge circle in the air. "This circle exploded into light and..."

"You just naturally had to kill off some of my Jaffa, and lie in wait for me," Khnum said. "Please, give me credit for some intelligence. "You are actually Tau'ri from Earth, here to steal the Naquadah from me."

He looked thoughtful. "The question is, for whom are you working. Yourself, or for the System Lords."

"Who?" Jack asked dumbly.

The Goa'uld made a spitting noise and wandered back to his throne, and when he turned again, he had the ribbon device over one hand.

"Hold him," he commanded, and Jack felt himself grabbed and held tight.

"Do you know what this is?" Khnum asked, walking to stand right in front of Jack. "Yes, I see from your expression that you do."

He reached forwards and lightly caressed Jacks cheek, laughing as Jack hissed and tried to shrink away. "You may have gathered by now that I am an impatient god," he purred. "You are interrupting what has become routine, and this... annoys me." He opened his hand above Jacks head, exposing a large red ruby in the middle of the ribbon device.

"Why are you here?" he asked. "Are you working alone, or do the other System Lords know about the Naquadah?"

Jack merely glared at him, making the Goa'uld smile.

"Tau'ri, I need answers," he said, "and you are going to give them to me, with or without your consent."

Held as he was, by a couple of Jaffa, facing almost certain brain damage if he resisted, Jack thought fast.

"Okay," he said, as if suddenly defeated. "I work for Baal. It was he who...aargh."

Suddenly, exquisitely, Jacks whole world turned to liquid red.

Every thought, every emotion seemed to be sucked upwards, the device slowly removing what the Goa'uld desired, piece-by-piece. The truth was there, along with Jack's fear for his own brother, still lying unconscious on his own patch of straw. Everything was whirling round and around in his head, and he cried out in helpless pain.

"Don't fight it," Khnum whispered, his voice echoing amongst the fragments called Jack O'Neill. "Just let everything go."

However, Jack couldn't do that.

Slowly but surely, he fought back. Not by going up against the Goa'uld himself - that way led to insanity, but by feeding him bits of disinformation. Gritting his teeth, he recalled Baal, how he looked, and how he acted, and made the System Lord speak. He made Baal order him to this planet. No, order them to this planet in order to stop Khnum. Once this was ready, he fed the disinformation to Khnum, bit by reluctant bit.

It hurt, trying to hold onto what he was and the secrets he carried, and he could feel the incredible toll it was placing on his mind, but he had no choice. Deep down he was pleased that he could hold out against a ribbon device as long as he was, and supposed that Baal himself had taught him how. Nothing anyone could ever do could compare to being slowly killed time and again. That agony had been like none he had experienced before, and nothing like he was experiencing now.

"It was Baal," he moaned, his body trembling and jerking under the light. "Please."

Then, finally, his body surrendered to the incredible toll placed on it, and soothing darkness rushed in.

...

"Colonel?"

He could feel a cool hand pressed against his neck, and a feminine snort of relief.

"He's alive."

"Barely," another female voice commented. Maria.

""Dear God, what did they do to him?" a shocked voice asked.

"From the burn mark on his forehead and the bleeding from his ears and nose I would guess a ribbon device," Major Ferretti said.

""A what?" Joe asked.

"A ribbon device," Daniel said sadly. "It's a brutal way of extracting information from a person."

"You mean torture?" Joe squeaked.

"That's what the Goa'uld do," Daniel said patiently. "Jack had information that this Goa'uld wanted, and he took it."

"Maybe at the expense of the Colonel's life," Carter said sadly.

That caused a bit of stunned silence.

"What do you mean?" Daniel asked eventually.

"Well, he's conscious to a certain degree," she said. "The problem is, his pupils are not right, which could indicate a severe head injury." She looked up. "We need to get him back to the SGC, and soon."

"Well, that ain't gonna happen any time quick," Ferretti muttered. He nodded to the six silent Jaffa that were standing close to the barn door. "We move any, and I reckon they'll have us for lunch."

"Well, we most certainly can't stay here," Joe said. He knelt next to the lax form of his brother and studied him closely.

"Jack?"

There was no answer.

"If it's any comfort, I'm pretty sure that he isn't in any pain," Sam said, squeezing his shoulder.

"Now." Ferretti said. "Although I bet at the time there was plenty."

"Why?" Joe asked, looking up pleadingly. "Why torture him?"

He addressed his question to the chief Jaffa that had dragged Jack in, a tall man with a gold emblem on his forehead.

"Why?"

The Jaffa didn't bother replying.

"I guess they knew he was our leader," Ferretti said after a while. "I guess they figured out that he would have more information than most."

Just then, the door rattled and they all whirled around.

"Is he...? Cogan asked, staring at Jack with wide eyes. Receiving a nod from the Prime, he flew to Jack, staring at him with sad eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

Joe had an idea. Admittedly, it was a wild one, but drawing on what he had observed so far, a calculated one.

"My other is dying," he said, carefully placing a hand on Sam's thigh when she drew in a breath. For his idea to work, Cogan and his brother would have to believe him.

"They want information we do not possess, and when we cannot answer him satisfactorily, the leader hurts him."

"Is this true?" Cogan asked at the Prime, who merely looked away.

"Is this true?" he asked of the silent Gregory twins, who looked at each other and nodded.

"Then this cannot be allowed to continue," he said.

Finally, the Prime had something to say.

"Begone human, or suffer the wrath of your god."

"My God is all around me," Cogan said, receiving a smile from Joe for his brashness. "He is not in the next room, and he most certainly does no harm to any of his flock."

Cogan held up a placatory hand when the Jaffa took a ferocious step forwards. "Your god has given me permission to tend to these people, which I intend doing. I will leave, however. If for nothing more than to get medical help for this poor man."

"Bless you," Joe said gratefully.

"I am so sorry," Cogan whispered again. "Had we known that the Goa'uld would hunt you down and return you here, we would have said nothing."

It wasn't quite how it happened, but Daniel would accept what he could.

"Had you not said anything, we would have been none the wiser," he said. "At least now, knowing what we do, we can finally face this creature."

"He will not leave without the yellow ice," Cogan said sadly.

"Oh yes he will," a familiar voice croaked. "Especially if he thinks that Baal is onto his little scam."

"Jack," Daniel said, whirling around with a smile. "You're awake."

"I'm not too sure about that," Jack said ruefully. "One can only hope." He struggled to sit up, relaxing with a sigh when Joe gently pushed him back. "Sorry to be such a weakling," he said, his eyelids fluttering shut.

"That's okay," Joe said. "I got used to it over the years."

The expected smile of derision wasn't forthcoming, making Joe lean forwards in alarm. "Jack?"

His brother didn't respond.

"Take it easy Joe," Sam said quietly. "Brief periods of lucidity are quite common with head injuries."

"What is wrong?" Cogan asked.

"I suspect he has bleeding on his brain," Sam answered. "This Goa'uld has a device called a ribbon device that can suck information right from your skull. They used this device on him."

"Why?" Cogan asked, horrified.

"Because he can," Joe said sadly. He reached down and pulled Jack to him, his heart clenching at just how cold his brother felt, as if he was already giving up the fight to live.

"Jack said that he told Khnum that Baal sent us," Daniel said. He looked at Sam, his eyes thoughtful. "Can one do that? Resist the ribbon device to such a degree that one could feed..." he looked at the assembled Jaffa warningly.

"Could Khnum pry from him that Lord Baal sent us?" she said loudly. "Yes he could."

"And now knowing this, knowing that Lord Baal is en route, why are we still prisoners?" Daniel asked aloud.

"Because this Khnum fella wishes a whole lotta hurt?" Ferretti asked. "I mean, if I were him, I would a bugged out a long time ago."

"Maybe he has," his sister said, staring at the Prime belligerently. "I mean if I were Khnum and I knew that Lord Baal was on his way with his entire fleet behind him, I would be hightailing it our through the stargate like the hounds of hell were on my tail." She stood toe to toe with the Jaffa and stared him straight in the eye.

"How about it, big boy? You care to make a wager that your boss is still outside?"

The Jaffa merely curled his lip. "The pathetic human does not work for Lord Baal."

"You sure?" Ferretti said.

The Jaffa merely snorted and wheeled out of the barn, but not before having a few quiet words with his other guards.

"He told them to watch us closely," Daniel said, his heart sinking. He glared at Ferretti. "Mind telling me what that little outburst accomplished?"

"Just trying to divide the ranks," Ferretti said.

"It doesn't seem to be working too well," Daniel muttered, garnering himself a dirty look.

"Who's Baal?" Joe asked softly.

"Bad news," Ferretti said. "Very bad news. Your brother had a run in with him a while back. He almost died."

"He did?" Joe asked, shocked. "How come I don't know about this?"

Daniel shrugged. Jack had needed intensive psychological counseling after that mission before the Air Force would even consider letting him in the gateroom again. After that, it wasn't surprising that Joe knew nothing about it.

"I guess because, well, he's always almost dying," he said carefully. "Like now."

Cogan stirred from his reverie. "I will go and fetch the doctor now," he muttered. "Perhaps there is some herbs..." his voice faded away as he strode outside.

"I dunno about you," Ferretti said, "but I don't think herbs are going to crack it."

"Oh, I dunno," Jack said again. "Weed might."

"Colonel." Carter leaned over him, her face concerned. "How are you holding out?"

"Oh, comes and goes." Jack was never the one for revealing personal feelings, not even to his brother, but he knew from their faces that this time no one was fooled. Even the fine boned Gregory twins were looking at him with worried expressions on their faces.

"Nothing that Janet can't fix," he amended. "It's just a very bad headache 's all."

Carter's touch was cool on his forehead. "I think it's worse than that sir," she said softly.

"That ribbon device got you pretty bad," Daniel said, his eyes dark with his own memories of the sheer agony the device was capable of. "Your whole forehead looks kinda..."

"Crispy?" Jack murmured sleepily. "A small price to pay if this Khnum believes me."

"That Baal is coming?" Daniel asked feeling sick. "We don't think he believed you."

"Crap," Jack moaned, staring upwards with unfocussed eyes. "I was so sure he would."

"Why?" Joe asked.

"It's the only thing I could think of. He -" Jack blinked and grimaced before continuing strongly. "Khnum was determined to suck everything I know out of my brain. I knew I had to do something quick."

"You could have been killed," Joe said huskily.

"So can these villagers," Jack said. "In case you haven't noticed they don't have all the Naq...Naq whatever. "Whole villages have been slaughtered for things less serious than that."

"But to tell him that Baal was coming? Whoever this Baal is," Joe added.

"One nasty piece of work," Jack slurred. "Really nasty. The only Goa'uld that, well let's say I'm not dying to meet him again."