Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Year Four

Jack sat in the hard plastic chair, his eyes riveted on the figure in the bed. She was asleep and peaceful, the only movement the steady rise and fall of her chest.

Normally, he'd hate this. Hate her being unconscious. It was so unnatural for her to be so still. Even when she slept she was full of life and humor. He loved to watch her sleep, to enjoy the expressions play over her features, expressions that were unaltered by her normal self-control.

But right now he was happy to have her unconscious. Unconscious was better than dead. Unconscious had the promise of recovery while dead was….well dead.

He closed his eyes and he could still see her, slumping limply to the floor. He could see Doc dashing forward, probably skinning her knees when she knelt beside Sam. Rolling her over, Sam's arm flopping across her chest, all muscle tone gone. He knew what it meant as soon as he'd seen it. Once you make your acquaintance with Death, you never forget its face.

He killed her, murdered her. And then Doc just had to step in, had to try. Couldn't accept the reality of the situation.

He remembered a flurry of orders, her yelling for help while she pounded on Sam's chest, doing her best to cheat Death without realizing that Death didn't like to be cheated.
And what did all her orders and tubes and defibrillators do? She just made it so that he'd have to do it again, have to kill Sam again.

As if once wasn't enough.

He still wasn't quite sure how they'd gotten her back. It didn't make any sense that her brain, no not her brain, HER. The part of her body that made her Sam Carter somehow left her body and survived in the computer main frame and, equally amazingly, was now back right where it belonged.

He still couldn't believe it, even after hearing her talk down in the MALP storage room, he still couldn't believe that she was back.

He wanted her to wake up, to smile and talk and confuse the crap out of him. But he also didn't want her to wake up. He didn't want to find out that something had gone wrong, that maybe not all of her had made it back. He wanted to keep his fantasy a while longer, keep the hope that she was back and she was whole and that she'd be fine. He didn't want to think about what he'd have to do if they were wrong, if Death would have the last laugh and that she wasn't all there.

She stirred slightly and Jack sat up, motioning for Doc to come over as he quietly got out of his chair and moved away. Frasier looked at him, glaring slightly before she turned her attention to Sam, picking up one of her slack hands to take her pulse. "Sam? Sam, honey, are you awake? Do you hurt anywhere?"

Sam's eyes fluttered open then shut and Jack saw pain cross her face. "Hurts."

"What hurts?" Janet pressed. "Your hand?" She picked up and examined Sam's right hand gently feeling around the gauze that covered her burn.

"Head," she breathed. "Cold." Her voice was thin and weak. It reminded Jack of when Charlie'd found the Halloween candy and proceeded to eat all of it himself.

"I'll get you a blanket," Janet said. "And something for your headache." Sam slowly rolled to her side and Janet helped, insuring that the IV didn't get tangled up in the sheets. "I'll be right back."

She walked to the other side of the infirmary and Jack followed. "Doc?" he asked softly.

She shrugged. "I don't know, sir," she said. "I have no experience with this."

"But her headache-"

"Could be just that," she interrupted. "All we can do is wait." She reached into a warming cabinet and pulled out a blanket. "In the meantime, why don't you help me out with this?"
She shoved the blanket into his hands.

"Doc?"

"I have reports to write and Sam needs a blanket. Oh, and do me a favor sir, the noise might aggravate her headache. Why don't you pull the curtains, give her a little privacy."

"Cotton curtains are crap for sound proofing," Jack said, taking the blanket. "Besides, umm, it'd probably be better if I just-" He tried to give the blanket back to her but she pushed it back into his hands.

"Nonsense," she interrupted. "I need help, she needs help and you're here. Go give her a blanket. I'll go get her a shot and be right in."

Jack sighed, realizing that some things were worth arguing about and some weren't. Besides, he was going to have to face Sam eventually. He made his way back to Sam's bed and unfolded the blanket, carefully laying it over her. Janet appeared at his side, a syringe in hand. She picked up the tubing of Sam's IV and administered the shot. "She'll go to sleep in a few minutes," she said. Jack nodded. Janet pulled the blanket up almost tucking it under Sam's chin. "You know, her skin is a bit chilled. Let me know if she doesn't warm up. I can get her an electric blanket."

"How?" Jack asked.

Janet smiled. "Usually like this," she said, reaching out and grabbing Jack's hand. She lifted the blanket and laid his hand on Sam's arm.

"Doc…"

"You're doing me a favor, Colonel. There's no harm in that." She stepped away, turning back to smile at him. "I'll leave you two alone." She pulled the curtain shut and Jack stared after her for a second before he shrugged and sat down, one hand still under the blanket and lying on Sam's arm.

Her skin was cool and Jack instinctively rubbed his hand back and forth, trying to warm it up. She sighed softly and Jack looked, relieved to see some of the pain fading from her face. "You're gonna be ok," he said, giving up his idea of anonymity.

Her right hand moved and settled over his hand, her fingers lightly grasping his. He shifted his grasp, taking her hand in his while being careful not to exert too much pressure and aggravate her burn. "Real?" she breathed.

"Yeah, it's real," he said. "The whatever it was is gone. You're you and everything is going to be fine."

She smiled slightly and her fingers flexed in his again gripping his hand. She fell asleep and Jack watched her. He leaned forward, his other hand coming out to stroke her hair. Yeah, she was going to be ok.

/\/\/\/\/\

"Everything looks fine to me, Daniel," Jack said, looking over at his friend.

"It's not," Daniel insisted, putting his car into park. "And the problem's not her house, it's her."

"If Carter wasn't fine, Doc wouldn't have let her go home," Jack insisted, doing his best to hide his irritation.

"Janet can't fix everything," Daniel insisted. "Jack, just trust me on this."

"Fine," Jack agreed, unbuckling his seat belt. He got out of the car while Daniel did the same and they walked side by side up Sam's front walk. Jack studied his surroundings, looking for some sign of trouble. He found nothing, other than it looking like Sam had done some gardening recently, despite the fact that it was the middle of winter. It looked like her bushes were freshly pruned, a few stray leaves lay on the short, dormant grass.
Unlike her neighbors, her house was totally devoid of the normal holiday decorating that her whole block seemed to go for, but that didn't surprise Jack. In fact, that was normal for Sam. He'd be worried if he'd walked up and discovered her house covered in lights and tinsel.

He didn't want to admit it to Daniel, but it did seem a bit odd that she'd mess with pruning bushes just a couple of days out of the infirmary, but people coped in different ways. And if she was anything like him, she could have been driven outside out of sheer boredom. And it wasn't like the weather had been nasty. Despite the fact that it was a few days before Christmas, the temperatures were unnaturally warm and the sky sunny. If he didn't know it was December, he'd think it was October.

They climbed the steps onto her porch and Jack reached out, ringing the bell. "If she's asleep and pissed off, this was your idea," he warned Daniel. They waited for Sam to answer the door. And waited. And waited.

Daniel dug into his pocket and pulled out his keys. "Daniel," Jack warned as he reached forward, ready to stick the key into the lock.

"We've knocked. Besides, this is why we exchanged keys." He turned the key in the lock and opened the door, cautiously sticking his head in.

Once he was inside, Jack's training took over and he motioned for Daniel to stay back as he took point. He didn't hear a TV, so he checked out her bedroom first, finding it empty although the bed was mussed and unmade. He led the way into the living room raising his eyebrows at the sight of uneaten food littering her coffee table. He could identify the remains of at least two pizzas, several other frozen dinners and an assortment of bags of snacks, chips and crackers. There was an empty microwave popcorn bag on the floor and several bottles and cans of beverages.

"I'm having flashbacks to Animal House," Daniel said.

"You watched Animal House?"

"Who hasn't watched Animal House?"

Jack shook his head, giving up on the conversation. "Ok, I will give you this much. Carter's normally not this much of a slob. But a little food orgy does not a problem make."

"Teal'c would be hard pressed to eat all this," Daniel insisted. "I'm telling you, Jack, something's wrong."

Jack sighed. "Well, since she doesn't seem to be around…" He trailed off, his eyes catching sight of a flash of movement through the window. He watched Sam maneuver her Harley to a stop just in front of Daniel's car. Daniel turned on his heel and hurried out the door and Jack followed.

"Sam!" Daniel waved his hand.

"Hey guys!" She climbed off the bike and started up the walk. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Jack said, speaking up before Daniel could. If something was wrong with her then the last thing she needed was for her to know that they knew that something was wrong. "We just aah, just were in the neighborhood."

Daniel frowned. "We were…right, right, we were in the neighborhood, Jack and I and we just wanted to…we were in the neighborhood."

Sam frowned. "Right. Well, look, guys, I'm just on my way back out so-"

"Out where?" Jack asked, falling into step as she walked past him.

"Just out," she said, entering her house. She opened the hall closet and pulled out a jacket. "I wouldn't even have come back but I forgot my wallet," she said, digging in the pockets of the jacket. She pulled out the item, smiling widely. "Can't get very far without this."

Jack frowned. "No, you aah, so where are you going?" he asked, seeing what Daniel was concerned about.

She shrugged. "I don't know. Wherever I end up."

"Wherever you end up?" Jack asked slowly.

"Sam, are you sure that's a good thing to be doing?" Daniel asked.

"Why not?" she asked, pushing past them and moving into her living room. "It's my downtime; I can spend it how I like." She grabbed a bottle of diet Coke off the table, taking a sip before making a face. "Ick, flat." She strode into the kitchen and Jack followed, Daniel trailing behind him. He watched as she dumped the undrinkable soda into the sink and pulled another one out of the refrigerator, twisting the cap off. She took a long drink, tilting her head back. "That's better," she said, belching softly. "If someone could invent carbonation that never dies, they'd make a mint."

"Yeah, that'd be quite a feat," Jack said. "Are you sure you're in the mood to go for a ride? They're talking about rain for this afternoon."

Sam laughed. "I may be sweet, but I won't melt," she quipped. "And if it's gonna rain, I should not be wasting my time here." She shoved the half empty bottle into Jack's hands and hurried past him, heading back out the front door.

"Jack," Daniel said.

"Yeah, ok, you were right," Jack said hurriedly. He passed the bottle of soda off to him and jogged out of the house. Something was definitely wrong with Sam. "Sam!" he yelled. "Why don't you come back inside?"

"I just came from there!" she called out, climbing onto her bike. She shoved her key into the ignition and fired up the bike with a throaty roar. She looked over at him, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

In an instant Jack knew that he'd never be able to stop her, short of wrecking her bike. He ran forward, nearly throwing himself onto the bike behind her, barely missing singeing his leg on the manifold. "What are you doing?" she said, turning back to glare at him.

"Take me with you!"

"I don't want-"

"Sam," he interrupted. "Take me with you, please."

She stared at him for a second then grinned. "Hang on," she warned. "You fall off I'm not gonna come back and get you."

She kicked the bike into gear and Jack wrapped his arms around her waist, realizing that she wasn't kidding. Whatever weird mood she was in, he was in for one hell of a ride.

/\/\/\/\/\

"Ooh, ice cream," Sam said, turning back to look at Jack. "You want some?"

"Umm, no thanks," he said unenthusiastically.

She shook her head and finished crossing the bridge, easily snagging a place in line. She debated the proffered flavors, finally settling on a twist of pineapple and orange.

Sticking her change into her pocket she turned back, looking for Jack. He ambled towards her, his hands shoved in the pocket of his jacket. "You should try this," she said, holding out the cone. "It's really good."

"I'm still full from the cheeseburger and onion rings and slushy and oh yeah, those tacos and let us not forget the fudge," he said, frowning as he rubbed his stomach.

She rolled her eyes, ignoring his litany as she took another big bite of the ice cream. She closed her eyes, savoring the tart smoothness of the ice cream as it melted on her tongue.
She swallowed, listening to the whisper of the wind through the pines, the soft creak of the Royal Gorge bridge as it swayed, the far away shouts and laughs of the other visitors to the park. She took a deep breath, inhaling the scents of the ice cream, of pine and, she thought, the smell of French fries.

"Sam?" Jack grabbed her arm. "Are you ok?"

"Do you smell French fries?" she asked, ignoring his question as she opened her eyes.

"What?" He frowned at her.

"French fries," she repeated. "I wonder if they have chili? Doesn't chili cheese fries sound good?"

"Honestly? No," he said. He steered her towards a near by bench, urging her to sit down. "Besides, you haven't eaten your ice cream yet."

She took a couple of bites, realizing that he was right, her ice cream was melting. "How about Cripple Creek?" she said, still eating her ice cream cone.

"What about Cripple Creek?" he asked, looking over his shoulder at the Western horizon.
"We could go there next. It's a great drive." She got down to the ice cream cone and took a bite, enjoying the crunchy texture of the baked confection.

"I think we should be more concerned with making it back to the Springs before it rains," he said, motioning towards the towering clouds. She'd noticed them building while she'd driven, but really hadn't cared. In fact, she'd found the contrast between the tall grey clouds and the jagged mountains to be rather enthralling. Something Jack had reminded her of more than once, grumpily urging her to keep her eyes, and attention, on the road.

She shrugged. "So we'll get wet."

"You're fresh out of the infirmary. You don't need to get wet. You'll catch a cold."

"That's a myth," she dismissed. "You don't catch a cold from getting cold." She reached the end of her cone and popped the last bit into her mouth, using a napkin to wipe her lips. She got to her feet. "I'm thirsty. Do you want something?"

Jack got to his feet. "Yeah, I want to go home."

"You're the one that invited yourself along," she said.

"I didn't realize you were going to take off on a cross country hike," he complained.

"You didn't ask. And I don't recall forcing you to come," she shot back, her good mood fading as quickly as the sun, shuttered behind the billowing clouds. She could hear another sound now, the distant rumbling of thunder.

"Let's go home," he said, reaching out to take her arm.

She shook him off. "No. I don't want to go home." A gust of cold wind blasted through the canyon, stirring up the dust and making the bridge sway visibly. A bolt of lightening split the sky the thunder following almost immediately. Heavy drops of rain began to fall and Sam pulled away, turning her face up to the sky. She closed her eyes, letting the cold water wash over her. Drop after drop pelted down as she stretched out her arms, opening herself up to the power of nature.

The rain ran down her face and under her shirt. She could feel it plastering her hair to her head, but she didn't care. She didn't care that it was cold and it was uncomfortable. She just cared that she was cold and uncomfortable. That she could feel the goosebumps rising on her arms. She reveled in the shivers that chased up and down her spine. She could feel and smell and hear and it was the most wonderful thing in the world.

"Sam!" Jack pulled on her arm. She ignored him, breathing in deep the scent of wet rocks and ozone. She could hear the thunder echoing throughout the canyon, the sound seeming to come from the very bowels of the Earth. "Sam!" He pulled harder, his grip bruisingly tight.

"Go away!" She yelled, angry at the interruption.

"No!" He shook her arm, pulling her off balance.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she screamed, opening her eyes to glare at him.

"I will NOT leave you alone, damnit!" he yelled back, his hand still holding her arm. "I've almost lost you once this week and I will not do it again!"

She stared, his admission catching her off guard. She stared at him, the naked emotion and pain in his eyes making her pause. There was something there that she never thought she'd see again. She shook her head, afraid to dare to ask for confirmation. "Just leave me alone, Jack."

"I can't do that. Now please, let's get out of here," he begged, his voice low and desperate.
The rain was coming down in sheets now, the wind driven rain soaking every crook and crevice. A gust of wind cut through the canyon and Sam shivered, her hands shaking.
Suddenly defeated, she nodded. He released her arm and wrapped her hand in his. "Come on."

Jogging, he led her across the bridge over the deep chasm and towards where she'd parked her bike, the chill darkness a perfect example of her feelings.

/\/\/\/\/\

Jack stood outside the hotel room door, struggling a bit to juggle two large plastic bags while digging to pull the key out of his pocket. He inserted it into the lock and entered the small room. Realizing that the storm was only going to get worse, and that neither of them needed to spend an hour on the back of a bike exposed to the rain, wind and chill of the storm, Jack had encouraged Sam to pull over at a local motel.

He'd booked them in for the night, then left her behind to warm up in the shower while he made a quick run through the local discount store, buying each of them a change of clothes and something to sleep in.

His cell phone rang and Jack dropped the bags on one of the beds, his hand going for the phone clipped to his belt. "Yeah, Daniel," he said, answering the phone after he glanced at the caller id. "No, we're in Canon City. Canon City," he repeated, looking over as Sam came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. He shrugged and dumped one of the bags out knowing that the clerk hadn't separated the clothes but rather bagged them together. "We went for a little bike ride."

Sam shot him a look then looked back down, dumping out the second bag. She pawed through the clothes and retreated to the bathroom, her pajamas and underwear in her arms. She shut the door and Jack turned his back, lowering his voice. "I think she's ok now," he said, finally answering Daniel's original question. "No, she wasn't drunk, just…having a moment," he said, trying to describe Sam's behaviors in the least offensive way possible. "No, look, we just got caught by the weather. We'll stay the night here and come back in the morning."

The bathroom door opened and he looked up, smiling at Sam. "Do me a favor would ya?" he asked Daniel. "Let Hammond know that I won't be in tomorrow. It's late or I'd call him myself. Yeah, thanks Daniel."

He snapped his phone shut and looked over at her. "Feel better?" he asked, setting the phone down on the dresser.

She shrugged. "I guess."

He frowned at her unenthusiastic response the sighed, realizing that he wasn't up to going into it, not yet. "I'm gonna go clean up," he said, taking off his jacket. He nodded towards the phonebook on the small table between the two queen size beds. "You still hungry?"
She shrugged again. "Well, I am. Can you order something please?"

"What do you want?"

"I doubt we'll find much beyond Chinese or Pizza that delivers," Jack said. "Whatever sounds good to you," he said bending over to take off his shoes and set them beside the small heater on the wall.

She nodded and pulled the phonebook over into her lap, flipping slowly through the pages. Jack looked at her for a second, then gathered the pair of sweat pants and t-shirt he'd purchased to sleep in and retreated into the bathroom.

He shut the door and peeled off his wet jeans and shirt realizing just how chilled he'd been. Leaving his wet clothes in a pile, he turned on the shower and got under the warm spray. He stood there for several minutes, letting the warmth soak into his muscles and bones.

Sam's behavior puzzled him as much as he found it intriguing. He couldn't recall ever seeing her as open and lighthearted as she had been most of the day. He wasn't used to seeing her like that, enthusiastic, openly smiling and friendly. Not that she was normally rude or anything, but he was used to seeing Captain or Major Carter. A woman always on her guard. Always with propriety in mind. Always dutiful and respectful. Well, mostly always.

Still, he got the idea that he'd actually spent time with Sam Carter today. Not the major, not the Air Force officer, but the woman. And he'd liked it, even if his stomach was still
protesting.

She'd been fun, impulsive and adventurous. And, apparently, a dare devil on that bike of hers. He smiled, remembering her laughing as she'd maneuvered her way up and down the twisty roads. She'd certainly enjoyed herself, even if he was sure that there were a few more grey hairs on his head thanks to her.

His smile faded as he realized just how unlike Sam Carter, Sam Carter had been acting. He turned off the water and got out of the shower, quickly drying off. He was now worried about leaving her alone. Especially since her mood earlier in the day was so high and up while, this afternoon, she was as down and depressed as he'd ever seen her. That's what was bugging him, the change was too much too fast.

He pulled his clothes on, barely taking the time to rip off the tags. He shouldn't have left her alone. For all he knew she could have grabbed her keys and got back on her bike and-

He pulled open the door and looked into the room, relieved to see a shape curled up in one of the beds. Jack sighed, releasing a breath he hadn't realized that he was holding. He ran his fingers over his hair, grimacing when they came back wet.

He stepped back into the bathroom and towel dried his hair before exiting again. He set the chain and deadlock on the door, then padded back across the room. He quietly pulled back the covers on the other bed, his eyes drifting over to Sam.

She was curled up in a ball, her legs drawn up so tightly that he thought it couldn't be comfortable. He crossed over to her bed and bent over, reaching out to touch her, driven by something he couldn't explain to verify that she was ok.

Her skin was cool and Jack's heart lurched, seeming to stop beating until he felt the steady thrum of a pulse under his fingers. "I'm cold," she muttered.

"Sam?"

"I'm cold, Jack," she said softly, still not looking at him.

"Scoot over," he said, reaching out to pull back the covers. He climbed in beside her, wrapping his body behind hers, his arms pulling her close. He felt her relax, sinking back against him and he closed his eyes, losing himself in the sensation of having her back in his arms again.

He smiled, memories of months ago filtering back into his mind. Afternoons on the beach when the weather was nice, time spent exploring Loren's castle when it rained. All in all, SG-1 had used their time marooned on P4X347 as a bit of a group holiday, occasionally punctuated by temper tantrums brought about by their withdrawal from the Light.

The group of them had done a lot of things together, walking, swimming, watching movies and playing board games. Of course, he and Sam had enjoyed a diversion that Jack was pretty sure Daniel and Teal'c hadn't.

Sam moved in his arms, turning over to face him. One hand settled on his chest. "Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Make love to me," she requested.

"What?" Jack opened his eyes, propping himself on one elbow to look at her. "Sam, what's going on?"

She tilted her head, glancing up at her. "I want you to make love to me," she repeated, her hand creeping down his chest to worm its way past the waistband of his sweats.

He reached down, wrapping his hand around her wrist. "Sam-"

"Jack. I'm not nuts, I'm not crazy. I'm sober and cognizant and I want you to make love to me," she interrupted, shifting her weight to roll him to his back with her on top. "Come on, you've never said no before."

"You haven't been acting like this before," Jack said, doing his best to ignore his body's reaction to Sam's nearness.

"Do you know what my last conscious thoughts were Jack? Before the entity pushed me out of my head?" She looked him straight in the eyes. "I had regrets. Things that I didn't do that I wish I had. It was a crappy feeling and one that I don't feel like experiencing again," she said seriously. "Jack, I don't want a wedding or a commitment, I just want…Jonah and Thera were fantastically happy and I want that, even if it's just for a little while."

"You're sure?" he asked, his hands settling at her waist.

"As sure as I was on P4X347," she replied, smiling widely. She lowered her head, kissing him soundly. Jack kissed her back, his hands sliding under her T-shirt and caressing her smooth skin. Somehow he knew that she wasn't the only one who needed this.

/\/\/\/\/\

Sam strolled through the halls of the SGC, humming softly to herself. She glanced at her watch confirming that she'd still have time. Technically, she was early, she wasn't due to report for duty for another hour or so, but she didn't want to miss breakfast. And she had something to do before she met the rest of her team in the commissary.

Arriving at her goal she glanced up and down the hall, making sure that there were not witnesses. Within minutes her mission was complete and she walked back down the hall, her hands empty and a smile on her face. Waffles. That's what she'd have for breakfast she decided, summoning the elevator. This was definitely a waffle morning.

/\/\/\/\/\

Jack pulled his keys out of his pocket cursing the overturned semi that had made his normal fifteen minute commute forty-five. He was late, and he was missing breakfast. He hadn't wanted to be late today, it was Sam's first day back on duty, even though it was also Christmas Eve.

Hammond thought she was nuts and wanted her to take the weekend off, but Jack had contradicted him, imploring the general to trust him and his judgment. As much as Jack personally felt that she needed the time off, he also knew that what she really needed was something to engage her mind and distract her from the events of the past couple of weeks.

And Jack had no intention of letting her overwork herself. All he needed to do was enlist Teal'c and Daniel into his plan, well aware that Sam wouldn't be able to turn down an invitation to gather at his house and pig out on Chinese while they watched a few movies.

He opened his office door and tossed his jacket onto the chair, fully intending to get down to the commissary before his team got done eating. He turned on his heel, then turned back when he caught sight of a small wrapped box on his desk.

Intrigued, he stepped forward and picked it up, turning it over in his hands before he pulled the ribbon off and took the lid off. Nestled in the white tissue paper was a small red glass heart. Jack picked it up, rubbing his fingers over its smooth surface.

He smiled, raising the heart to his lips for a light kiss before he returned it to the box. He carefully put the box in his desk drawer, safe but out of sight before he turned on his heel again, his thoughts of breakfast returning.

Humming between his teeth he made his way to the elevator. Yep, this was definitely a good day.

~Fin~

Feedback:sky_diver119@yahoo.com

HOME