trinkets8

Trinkets: Christmas in July
By
Denise

Disclaimer Stargate Sg-1 and its characters are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. This story may not be posted elsewhere without the consent of the author.

Sam slipped into her lab and shut the door, desperately hoping that no one had detected her presence on the base. She wasn't supposed to be here. Technically, she still had a week's worth of bereavement leave to use up, with an open invitation from the general to 'take as long as she needed'.

The problem was, what she needed wasn't time off. She needed to be busy, to be occupied, to have something to take her mind off the complete and total clusterfuck her life was. She needed to get out of the house and get away from the sympathy cards and well-meaning phone calls.

Her dad was dead. Which, as horrible as it was, wasn't nearly as upsetting as it could have been. At least she'd had a few more years with him than fate had originally decreed. And she'd even been able to bond with him, the few times they'd participated in missions together giving them some equal ground and time to get to know each other that she never would have had.

She was oddly at peace with his death and felt more resignation than real grief. Other parts of her life weren't quite so easily dealt with.

"Hell, Pete, I don't know what I want," Sam muttered, flopping down in her chair. She'd thought she'd wanted him and the promise of a life that came with him. She'd thought she'd wanted the white picket fence, car pool, 2.5 kids and yes, even the dog.

But when she'd had that whole fantasy laid out before her, all she felt was panic. When Mark had first tried to set her up with Pete a year ago, Sam's first inclination had been to refuse. Mark was always trying to set her up, convinced that since he'd found his happiness in marriage, that she too needed that experience to make her life complete. And she'd always said no. Until Pete.

To this day, she still wasn't totally sure why she'd said yes. She wasn't sure why she'd suddenly developed a fascination with creating for herself a 'real life'. In one way, it had been fun. She'd enjoyed going out on dates and having something to look forward to on the weekend other than a solitary bike ride or a matinee movie with Cassie.

But, in another, it complicated her life almost beyond recognition. Pete was so different from Jack, and those differences took a while to get used to. Pete was open where Jack was closed off and taciturn. Pete teased and played while Jack tended to stand back and watch. Pete had a speedy and earthy wit, while Jack's humor was more quiet.

Of course, she and Jack could sit and talk about the day or about their missions and it was nice to have that bit of sharing that she and Pete would never have. Pete would talk for hours about his cases or things he was working on while she couldn't. She missed that, having the freedom to talk without having to remember what she was and wasn't allowed to say. Sometimes, she felt that she had to always be on guard around Pete, always had to be careful not to say too much or the wrong thing.

She missed Jack too. It wasn't that she didn't get to physically see him; she usually had a briefing with him almost every day. But their encounters were now a lot more…tense. He rarely came to their team gatherings anymore, usually claiming too much paperwork when Sam knew that, quite often that was nothing more than an excuse.

Well, now she knew what he was making up excuses for. He wasn't overworked or stressed out. He was not spending time with them so that he could bang the spook. "God, you're being a bitch," Sam told herself, reaching down to turn on her computer. So he and Kerry had a thing going. "What the hell did you expect? Him to pine his life away."

In a way, she was glad. Glad that he found someone, that he had someone to care for. He was good at that. And, even if he didn't like to admit it to himself, he needed that. Jack had a lot of love and caring to give and he deserved to have someone in his life to share it with. She couldn't begrudge him that. He deserved better. So did Pete.

"You are so wrong," Sam said, automatically signing onto her computer. She wasn't better. She was a callous bitch who totally screwed up things with one man in her life and broke the heart of another one. Maybe she deserved to be alone. Things would be better that way. She couldn't hurt people if she wasn't around them.

Her mailbox popped up and Sam sighed as mail after mail scrolled into view. Damn and most of them weren't even spam. She clicked her way through message after message, only answering the ones that simply couldn't wait. If she answered too many, then folks might figure out that she was on base and she wasn't in the mood for that.

She opened up a mail from Dr. Larry Murphy at Area 51 and gladly read through his progress reports on the various projects he and his team were working on. The two of them had talked a lot in the past few years, especially about the X-302, 303 and other projects and she'd gotten to know him quite well.

He was a good man who had a bit of a creative streak in him tempered with good old-fashioned practicality. Two traits that made him especially well suited to work with the alien tech recovered by the SGC.

Sam happily lost herself in his report for several minutes, glad to see that they were finally making some advancements. Things were looking very hopeful for a new medical device based on the goa'uld healing device. No one on Earth would ever be able to use the original device without having naqahdah in their systems, but they were working on adapting it, not to heal, but to diagnose. And to remove its dependence on naqahdah to make it available to all.

On the less altruistic front, there was also hope of adapting a goa'uld stun grenade to, well be just that, a far more accurate and effective stunning tool than current flash bangs and, hopefully, something that could be used for a potential hostage situation. Dr. Murphy ended his report with his normal note, something that had become a joke between the two of them.

'I'll have you know that we still have need of someone to head up the R&D here. Someone who's actually seen this stuff in action…is that too much of a hint? Oh well, and I've been authorized to tell you that I can now offer you a freshly painted office complete with new furniture. You gotta try this chair. And hey, if we cut back on the coffee allowance, I can get you one of those massaging mats to sit on.'

Sam smiled, shaking her head at Dr. Murphy's latest bribe. While the first offer to transfer to Area 51 had shown up almost seven years ago, she knew that his offers were quite legitimate, unlike those of Colonels Kennedy and Maybourne, both of whom had only wanted her there so that they could explore the changes Jolinar had made in her body. Dr. Murphy honestly wanted her there and craved her input on the toys the SG teams recovered.

She hadn't had much time for that this year what with leading SG-1 and all. She did have a new found respect for Jack and all he'd had to do. Daniel and Teal'c generated a hell of a lot of paperwork, and Sam had the idea that she produced a lot more than they did. It was a miracle that he'd had found any free time while he'd led the team, even more so when she considered that he did it all without spending time in his office.

She missed tinkering with the tech. Missed losing herself in solving the puzzle, missed the thrill of making it work. That was probably her one regret about leading the team.

She printed Dr. Murphy's report and saved it to a folder set aside for just that purpose.
Twenty minutes later, with her inbox empty, Sam stretched and leaned back in her chair.
She looked across her workbench, wondering which of her projects she needed to be working on. Leaning forward, she picked up a small round thing SG-21 had brought back a couple of weeks ago. They thought it was some version of the goa'uld communication device, but Sam didn't think so. The color was wrong. This could be something for her to fiddle with today. It shouldn't take her more than a couple of hours to determine what it was made of.

But first, coffee. She got to her feet, setting the ball down and stretched. Sleep had eluded her the past several nights and she could feel her eyes burning slightly. She definitely needed some coffee to clear her head before she started working on anything intricate.
Grabbing her favorite mug, Sam opened the door and walked down the hallway, checking her watch as she did. Maybe she'd grab something to eat too, boost her blood sugar with a donut or muffin.

Since the commissary was only a couple of levels up, she bypassed the elevator and made her way to the stairs, easily opening the heavy fire door. As in any building, the stairs were rarely used and Sam's footsteps echoed eerily in the barren shaft. Above her she heard another door open and two voices making their way down the stairs.

"Look, it's a dollar, not exactly your life savings. And think of it this way, if you hit it right, you can take home easily a hundred times that," the second one said, persuading the first.

"It's not like we're sticking a camera in the men's room to settle a boxers or briefs question. In fact, it's no different than a baby pool."

Sam grinned, shaking her head at the conception of yet another SGC betting pool. These people literally had nothing better to do with their time.

"Fine, fine. It is only a dollar. What do I need to put down?" the second one relented.

"Date and time when General O'Neill pops the question. For another dollar you can put down when the wedding will be."

Sam stopped climbing the steps, the woman's words striking her to the core. Married? Jack was going to marry Kerry? She hadn't thought of that. Sleep with her, sure. But marriage?

Yeah. Awkward. Great. Not only was Jack moving on but boy was he moving on. Panic started to rise in Sam's chest as she heard the footsteps growing closer. Suddenly, she couldn't stand the thought of anyone knowing that she knew. She dashed down to the closest door and exited the stairwell, hurrying down the hall to be out of sight in case the two women also got off on this floor.

Her appetite gone, Sam returned to her lab and again took refuge behind the closed door. She closed her eyes, nightmarish images assaulting her brain. Jack and Kerry together, eating dinner, going out. Her visiting him in his office, hanging out in the control room. Getting invited to the wedding. The knowing looks and barely muffled whispers.
She couldn't do this. She couldn't stay here. She couldn't…Her eyes settled on Dr. Murphy's report, the last paragraph seeming to leap out at her.

'I'll have you know that we still have need of someone to head up the R&D here.'

Groom Lake. Hundreds of miles away. Nobody really knew her there. She was a stranger. Just another officer. She wasn't the stupid old maid who pined after her CO and was the butt of every joke.

Giving into her impulse, and ignoring the voice in her head that told her to wait, Sam picked up the phone, quickly dialing Dr. Murphy's number. She cursed when she got his voice mail, then shook hear head when she realized that it wasn't even 0800 there. "Dr. Murphy, this is Sam Carter. Look, umm, you know, I think that massaging mat just might have done the trick," she said quickly, interjecting enthusiasm into her voice. "Why don't you give me a call when you get in. I think we have something to talk about."

Jack took a sip of his iced tea and flipped through another batch of reports, taking a few moments to scrawl his recommendations on the bottom of each. In the past few months he and Walter had come up with a system. Jack had three filing boxes, 'yes', 'no', 'deal with it later'. And for the 'deal with it later' Jack would write his outline of what he'd like to say and Walter translated those couple of sentences into something acceptable for the eyes of others.

Jack saw a familiar name and devoted more of his attention to the transfer request in front of him. "Larry, Larry, Larry, I thought you'd finally gotten the message," he muttered, scanning the request from Larry Murphy for Carter to transfer to Area 51.

Jack was no stranger to these requests, this was the second one he'd set eyes on and he knew that Hammond had refused a dozen more over the years. Murphy had tried hard enough that, after the first few, Hammond didn't even bother checking with Carter anymore, he simply refused them out of habit with the understanding that, if she ever wanted to transfer, all she needed to do was ask.

Jack scrawled 'no' in the corner and tossed it into his box, shaking his head slightly. He paused for a moment and thought about Sam. He hadn't seen her since Jacob's funeral a couple of days ago and he wondered if she was doing all right. She seemed to be handling his death ok, but Jack also knew that Sam wasn't a person to wear her emotions on her sleeves. She tended to prefer to grieve quietly and privately. And since he was no longer privy to her private thoughts…Jack sighed and leaned back in his chair.

'Is the Air Force the only thing keeping you two apart? Rules and regulations? Cause if it is, you're making a big mistake.'

Jack snorted. "Screw the regs, it's a short little cop with a gun," he muttered. At least he'd been there during the funeral, that was a good thing. She'd needed someone, even if she hadn't want to admit it.

He heard a light knock on the door and closed his eyes. "Walter, given the reams of paper the Pentagon gets on a daily basis, you can't tell me that they really need this crap now," he groused.

"There's no such thing as too many reports at the Pentagon. How else can the paper pushers fill their day?"

She grinned ruefully and walked into his office. "I can only clean the bathroom so many times."

Jack nodded. "Yeah, well, you guys are still out of the rotation for a while so don't go asking for a mission," he said, catching sight of the piece of paper in her hands. He didn't care how bored she was he was not sending her out there, not until she had some time to deal with Jacob's death. Puttering in her lab was one thing, off world was another.

"No, sir, I aah, I needed to talk to you about something else." The tone of her voice set him on edge. She sounded hesitant and unsure.

"Ok," he said carefully. He motioned for her to take a seat. "What's on your mind?" She chewed on her lip and a horrible suspicion clawed at Jack's gut. She was pregnant. It had to be. That damn midget cop had went and got her knocked up and-

Jack let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Ok, so not pregnant. This was good. For him anyway. Although it was none of his business who she got pregnant with, as long as it wasn't an alien. He'd have to worry if it was some alien and-"I'm sorry, Carter, what did you say?" Jack asked, realizing that she'd stopped talking and was looking at him expectantly.

Jack took it and stared, the words 'Transfer Request' leaping off the page. "You want to transfer to Never Never Land?" he asked, his eyebrows creeping up his forehead. She nodded. "Carter, you hate sandy planets."

"The same as." Jack tossed the paper down on his desk. "It's just as sandy there as it is on P3X whatever."

She took a breath. "General, I know that I've always turned down Dr. Murphy's requests in the past but, I think it's time for a change."

Jack read the paper closer. "Head of R&D?" he asked, noting the position description. It would be a hell of a step up for her. Not combat command but still command points.

"You know, we could do this here," he offered. "Set you up your own space, keep more of the toys in house."

She shook her head. "Sir, the reason for exploring the stuff at Groom Lake is to separate our assets. It wouldn't make any sense to compromise things by keeping it here. Besides, Dr. Murphy has been looking for more ways to integrate alien technology into the Daedalus. My knowledge of alien tech would be invaluable to him."

"And is just as invaluable here," Jack countered. Groom Lake, that was hours away. He didn't want her hours away. He wanted her here. He knew that she wasn't 'his' anymore. But he could still keep an eye on her, couldn't he? Make sure things were going ok.

Jack propped his elbow on his desk and balanced his head on his palm. "What about Daniel and Teal'c?" he asked, ignoring the other man in her life. He didn't want to ask about Pete, largely because he didn't want to hear about Pete.

At least the guy had been behaving the past few months. There'd been no more calls to the FBI, no more curiosity fueled intrusions into Sam's working life. And hell, he'd even helped them out when Teal'c had gotten in trouble.

"Teal'c has been spending more and more time with the Jaffa. Now that the goa'uld are gone, they're finally free and needing leadership. Daniel has been jonesing to get to Atlantis for the better part of a year. The only thing holding both of them back is…well me." Jack raised his eyebrows. "And SG-1," she clarified. "Sir, our mission was to defeat the goa'uld, and we've done that."

"They're as good as." She leaned forward. "Sir, please, I want to go." She stared at him and Jack sighed, acknowledging when he was beaten.

"Ok," he said. "I'll sign off on it. With the stipulation that, if we need you here for the gate, you come back." She gave him a look. "Hey, I don't care what you think you've taught Siler, he don't know crap when the, well crap hits the fan."

"Couple weeks?" She shrugged. "We didn't really talk out the details," she said.

Jack nodded. "Ok. It'll probably take a bit for the paperwork to go through anyway. Start working on handing off your stuff and briefing Dr. Lee on what's going on," he instructed.

"Hey?" She turned back. "You guys catch them taping an episode of that TV show, see if you can snag an autograph. Walter's got the hots for that red head, Catherine whoever."

She left the room and Jack's forced smile faded. With a tired sigh he pulled Murphy's request out of the box and crossed out his own words, his pen suddenly feeling like it weighed a ton. He didn't want to do this. Didn't want to approve it. Didn't want her to go. He wanted her here where, even if he wasn't allowed to touch, he could still look.

"You're not the only one," he whispered, scribbling a 'yes' on the bottom of the form. "I hope you find what you want, Sam," he said, hesitating for a second before sliding the transfer request into the 'yes' box.

Daniel pulled his car to the curb and turned off the ignition, taking a moment to admire the sight of his friend in shorts and a tank top manhandling the lawnmower around her yard. It was too damn bad that she was his friend because he would have loved to have her be something more.

Then again, she was one of the best friends he ever had. Which made what Walter had told him all the more disturbing.

He got out of his car not bothering to lock it. First of all, it was in front of Sam's house not someplace downtown; second of all, it was just too hot to roll up the windows. He made his way into her front yard just as she cut the mower. "Hey!" he called out, waving a greeting.

"Daniel, hi." She pulled her sunglasses off her face and wiped the sweat off her forehead. "What's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just in the neighborhood." Daniel propped his sunglasses on his forehead, settling for things to be a bit blurry rather than changing his glasses.

"I need to take a break anyway," she said. She motioned for him to follow her and she stepped into the house. She reached into the fridge and pulled out a couple bottles of water, offering him one before leading him back outside.

Daniel sat on her stoop, twisting the cap off the water as she sat beside him. "So?" she asked, taping a sip.

"Yeah." He sighed, his frustration growing as he realized that she wasn't going to make things easy for him. "Area 51," he said, looking at her.

Sam colored and looked down, her attention riveted upon the bottle in her hands. "Yeah," she confirmed.

"It's a fantastic opportunity, Daniel. I'll be the head of research and development with a staff of a half dozen under me. I'll have my own budget, call my own shots-"

"Which you're already doing at the SGC," he said. "You can't tell me that Jack won't do that for you here."

"The point is, it's time for me to go," she said, getting to her feet. "I should have done this years ago but…" She turned to face him. "It's time and I'm not going to change my mind."

Daniel looked at her, sighing when he saw the resolution in her eyes. Her lips were pursed and her jaw was set. He recognized that look and knew that it was hopeless to argue. All arguing did was make her even more determined. "When do you leave?" he asked, knowing that he'd said the right then when she relaxed.

"It won't be official for a few weeks. I may go out there in a few days and get the lay of the land." She returned back to the stoop and sat beside him. "Daniel, I'm only a couple of hours away. You can come see me whenever you want. And it's not like I'm totally leaving the fold. I'll still be consulting with the SGC and working with the stuff that you guys bring back. I'll probably even need a translation or ten," she said, smiling. "This is presuming, of course, that you're not off in the Pegasus Galaxy."

"I think the whole SGC knows about it. Daniel, I think it's great. I almost wish I was going with you."

Daniel sighed. "Pete." She probably didn't want to keep exploring. That didn't fit in with her life now. She wasn't in the exploring phase; she was in the settling down phase. And going to another galaxy certainly wasn't settling down.

Sam started, an odd look passing across her face. "It's not that. Pete's out of the equation."

Daniel raised his eyebrows, Sam's words setting him thinking. "Sam?" He reached out and touched her arm.

"I broke it off," she said. She smiled sadly at him. "The day after the funeral. It's for the best really. It probably wouldn't have worked out," she rambled.

She took a deep breath. "Yeah. Anyway, it's a done deal. I know that I should have told you abut the transfer first but…I was waiting for it to be official."

"I understand." Daniel sighed. He slapped his hands on his knees and got to his feet. "I should get out of your way. You probably have a ton of things to do."

He felt the need to get away, to get some distance before he said, or did, something that he couldn't take back. She was living her life, needed to live her life. And if her life took her away from here, then he had to let her go. "Daniel?"

"Hey," he said, pasting a wide grin on his face. "You're probably working up an appetite. In the mood for dinner?"

"Aah, yeah, sure," Sam replied, setting aside the files she had been sorting through. "Come on in."

The other woman walked into the room. "I've been trying to catch up with you for a couple of weeks," she said, holding up a file folder in her hands.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. Things have been a bit crazy with the transfer and all," Sam said, hoping that the woman would accept the excuse. It was true in a way, but it was also true that Sam had absolutely no desire to speak to the woman. In fact, she would consider it a blessing if she could complete her move to Nevada without setting eyes on her again.
Kerry Johnson was a part of Jack's life, evidentially a very important part, but she wasn't part of Sam's. And Sam preferred to keep it that way.

"I know what you mean," Kerry continued, oblivious to Sam's thoughts. "I still have boxes from two moves ago that I haven't unpacked. I know you're busy but I needed your help with something." She opened the folder and pulled out an 8x10 picture. "Does this man look familiar to you?"

Sam took it and studied the picture. It was a blow up of a snapshot, clearly taken without the man's consent. Something triggered in Sam's brain and she cocked her head, closing her eyes as memories washed over her.

Sharp pain and a feeling of invasion and violation as the goa'uld bore its way into her body.

Terror when it subverted her, pushing her consciousness deeper and deeper away.

"He was one of the goa'uld we found in Steveston," Sam answered, ignoring Kerry's question. "He was kind of the ring leader. He'd work to recruit others." She couldn't help the bitterness that crept into her voice. Recruit. Bullshit it was recruiting. It was more like kidnapping.

"What's going on with him?" Sam asked, working to keep the alarm out of her voice. Technically the man shouldn't be able to track her down, but you could never be too careful, Conrad had taught her that.

"Nothing for you to worry about," Kerry reassured her. "I think some of his memories are returning so we'll need to monitor him, maybe come up with a better cover story."

Sam nodded, her skepticism still very much alive. Here was another good reason to move. Doctor Murphy had arranged for her to stay in base housing at Nellis until she could find an apartment, maybe she'd stay there a bit longer and take advantage of the 'free' security.

"Colonel, he's shown absolutely no interest in you or the other members of your team," Kerry said. "We've got him and the others in town under surveillance. They can't go very far without us knowing about it."

Kerry stood there for a couple of minutes and an awkward silence settled over the room. "Well, I should get out of your hair. I'm sure you have a lot of stuff to do." She turned to leave, turning back when Sam said her name.

Sam slid off her stool and walked over to Kerry, getting close enough that she could talk without raising her voice. "General O'Neill is…he's a good man. I'm glad he found someone," she said sincerely feeling the need to settle things between them.

"Things change," Kerry interrupted. She narrowed her eyes, staring at Sam. "And sometimes they don't."

"Jack talks in his sleep, which can be kinda cute. Until he starts naming names and…" Kerry studied her appraisingly. "A habit of his that I'll bet you know something about."

Despite herself, Sam could feel her cheeks flush. Yes, Jack did have a habit of talking in his sleep, usually when he was dreaming. Of course, it was usually only during a certain kind of dream. One which, usually, led to both of them waking up and enjoying the physical manifestations of his dreams. "Miss Johnson-" Sam started, her initial instinct to deny the notion.

"Right, deny everything," Kerry interrupted, rolling her eyes. She sighed. "Carpe diem," she said. "Regrets do absolutely nothing to keep you warm at night. You want him, you better go and get him. Because I think this is the only second chance you're ever gonna get." She turned on her heel and stalked from the room, leaving Sam alone.

You know, Sam. One of these days you're gonna stop thinking and start feeling. I just hope it's not too late when you get around to actually living your life.

Listening to her intuition, Sam turned on her heel and shut down her computer. In less than ten minutes she was at the surface and hurrying through the checkpoints. For better or worse, this was going to end now.

Jack slid the ice chest onto the bed of his truck, grunting with the effort. "That's what you get for hitting the grocery," he muttered, arching his back. Normally, when he decided to spend time at the cabin, he planned ahead, cutting back or eating most of the perishables before he hit the road. But this trip was a spur of the moment thing, so he had a refrigerator full of items that would be spoiled by the time he got back. Hence his reason for packing them up and taking them with him.

He'd still need to hit a store when he got up to Minnesota but this stuff wouldn't go to waste in the mean time.

As he headed back towards the house, he heard a car approaching and looked at his watch. "You're early boys," he said, making his way into the kitchen to retrieve one of the boxes of non-perishable food. Daniel and Teal'c were going to join him on this little vacation and were planning to meet up here, transfer their gear into his truck and they would all drive up together. It'd be a nice team outing, or as much of one that was possible anymore.

If he wanted to be honest with himself, Jack knew that the team died a year ago, the second he let the brass pin those damned stars on his shoulders. But he hadn't wanted to accept reality, even going as far as not assigning SG-1 a fourth to take his place.

As long as there was an opening he could keep kidding himself that things hadn't changed at all and that he could go back anytime.

But he'd been fooling himself, clinging to the past when he should have been acknowledging the present.

SG-1 was gone. Daniel was itching to head off to Atlantis and Teal'c had already spoken to him about going back to the Jaffa. Now that their freedom from the goa'uld was a reality, the Jaffa needed leadership like never before and Jack could think of no one better to do that than Teal'c.

As to Carter? Well Sam was running off to Vegas with her fiancée. "Make yourself useful," he said, hearing the front door open. "Grab the other box."

"Going somewhere?" Jack looked up, Sam's voice catching him off guard. She had obviously just come from the SGC and was still dressed in her BDU's.

"Yeah. We're going up to the cabin for a while," he answered, the shock of seeing her here leaving him at a loss for words.

"Teal'c, Daniel and I. What's going on?" he asked, trying to read her expression. She wasn't supposed to be here. She never came here anymore. He could see nervousness in her eyes, but also something else, something he couldn't quite identify.

"The guys will be here soon," Jack interrupted, eager to send her on her way. He was in no mood to deal with her right now. She was actually most of the reason he was taking a vacation.

Jack sighed and pushed past her, taking the box out to his truck. Sam trailed him and he tried to ignore her, setting the box of food in the truck bed. "Why are you here?" he demanded, turning to face her.

"NO, I mean, Jack I screwed up so bad. I never should have accused you of giving me preferential treatment. It was unfair and-"

"Sam, if you're here to soothe your guilty conscience, consider it soothed. I gotta pack," Jack said tersely, in no mood to mess with this again. She'd made her position incredibly clear years ago and, while he was no genius, he could take a hint, especially when it whacked him upside the head.

She didn't want him. She'd made her choice and moved on. So had he. And if she was suffering from cold feet it wasn't his job to warm them up. She had her short little cop for that. "And you should get back to Pete," he said pointedly.

"We broke up," she said. "I gave him the ring back and he withdrew his down payment on the house. He's going back to Denver," she rambled.

"It's for the best," she said quickly. "He's a great guy and I love him." Her words punched Jack in the gut. "But I'm not in love with him," she said. "I never was."

"So what are your plans now?" he asked, studying her closely. He didn't dare get his hopes up, and should simply set her packing, but he couldn't. He had to know. It was a compulsion, something that he just had to do. He was eighteen shades of fool for allowing himself to hope. Fate taught him a long time ago that hope was a waste of time. Hope was for dreamers, and Jack gave up dreaming several Presidents ago.

"It kinda depends," she said slowly, stepping towards him. "You see, there's this guy I know. He's really great. More than great really and…I've been so mean to him and I don't even know if he wants anything to do with me but-"

"Does this guy have a name?" Jack asked, his eyes drinking in the look on her face.

She nodded. "A very nice Irish…Jack, I've been absolutely horrible in the past and I know that I'm a mess with it comes to relationship stuff and-"

"C'mere," he interrupted, pulling her into his arms. She leaned against him, her arms sliding around his waist as she buried her face into his neck. "It's a good thing for you that I happen to have a soft spot for cute blonds," he said. He should be mad at her, should feel angry. But he just couldn't summon the energy. It didn't matter. To hell with the past.

She laughed against his chest and lifted her head, looking him in the eyes. "I love you," she said, kissing him soundly on the lips. Jack returned the kiss, his arms tightening around her.

"This is interesting," Daniel Jackson said as he parked his vehicle behind O'Neill's truck.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, taking in the sight of the two people intertwined in an enthusiastic kiss.

"I have the funniest feeling that our vacation is off," Daniel Jackson said. Perhaps hearing the noise of the engine, O'Neill and Colonel Carter broke their kiss, the two of them turning to look at them. "We should go," Daniel said, preparing to turn the vehicle back into the driving lane.

"That will not be necessary," Teal'c said as O'Neill and Colonel Carter motioned for he and Daniel Jackson to join them.

"Sam, Jack." Daniel Jackson opened the door and got out of his vehicle while Teal'c did the same. "We're interrupting, aren't we?"

"Yeah, Sam, you should join us," Daniel Jackson invited. "Jack was going to ask you in the first place but figured that you and Pete would be doing something and then… well I never got a chance to tell him about you and Pete and…" He turned to Teal'c. "They broke up," he explained, realizing that Teal'c was probably the only person who didn't know.

"That is indeed fortuitous, since O'Neill and Kerry Johnson have also…broken up,"
Teal'c said, working to hide his amusement at his friends. For all their accomplishments in technology and battle, the Tau'ri were no different than any other race, especially when it came to their interpersonal relationships. Much to his amusement, both O'Neill and Colonel Carter shifted uncomfortably.

"If I can get the time off," she said. "My boss can be a real hard ass when it comes to that." O'Neill glowered at her and she smiled, nonplused by his threat. "Are you sure you guys don't mind?" she asked.

"Mind? Hell, it'll be just like the old days," Daniel Jackson said. "Just with more comfortable beds and better food."

"That depends, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said. "On whether or not O'Neill prepares the meals."

Sam slipped out onto the dock, her bare feet making no sounds on the bare wooden planks. It was dawn at the lake and a thin ethereal mist floated above the still water. The lake was silent, the only sounds Sam could hear was the gentle lap of the water against the pilings and a far off call of a loon.

She made her way to the end of the dock and sat down, her feet dangling in the water. It was cool against her feet, almost too cool she thought, a shiver coursing down her spine. The guys were still asleep in the cabin and she relished the privacy, closing her eyes as she breathed deep of the pine-scented air. A sense of peace fell over her, as comforting as the water caressing her feet. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt this good.

The long drive to Minnesota had been uneventful even if it was a bit boring. Deciding not to stop along the way, they'd all taken turns driving, arriving at Jack's cabin late yesterday afternoon.

After a fast food dinner at a nearby town, they'd settled in for the night, Daniel and Teal'c laying claim to the guest bedroom while Sam made herself at home with Jack. They'd made love quietly, enjoying each other's company while being mindful of the two other people just a few yards away. "You're up early," Jack said, his voice gravely with sleep. He slid behind her, his legs straddling her and his arms wrapping around her waist.

She leaned back, laying her head against his chest. "That's what I get for napping on the way up," she said, rubbing her hand over his arm.

He nuzzled her neck and Sam sighed, regretting for a moment that they weren't alone. She was happy to be spending time with her friends, but also wished that she and Jack were alone. Their relationship was still so new, so fragile that she wanted time to build it, to shore it up before they again faced the world. Somehow she knew that this was their last chance. That if anything happened, there'd be no do-overs, no retakes, no second chances.

"I'm in the mood for breakfast personally," Jack said. "Seeing as how I can't roll you over and screw you silly out here on the dock."

Sam chuckled, his lustful tone sending her senses humming. "I mean about us," she said, craning her neck to glance at him. "I don't want to hide anymore."

"I've been thinking about that," Jack said, his tone serious. "I think we let your transfer go through."

"What?" Sam asked, alarmed. She'd presumed that her transfer would be cancelled and that she'd remain at the SGC, even though that option flew in the face of the frat regs.

"Hear me out," Jack said. "You go to Nevada for a few months. This puts you out of my chain of command. And I'll take a little trip to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and call in a few favors."

"And if that doesn't work?" she asked, not having his faith in President Hayes giving them permission to be together.

"I retire," he said, tightening his arms around her to still her protests. "Sam, the only reason I didn't retire last year was because I…I didn't quite trust the JCS to pick someone good to run the SGC. Even if Hayes won't give us his blessing - which I think he will - I know he'll let me name my successor. Once the SGC is in good hands, we can finally take care of ourselves."

"I like the sound of that," she said, relaxing against him again. She pushed down the temptation to plot and plan and analyze. She couldn't control the future, so she wasn't going to waste time worrying about it.

The present was all that mattered, and she was going to enjoy every moment of it.